Prepping the Daddy

Well friends this post is about prepping the daddy. Which I sometimes find hilarious!

There are men who are fantastic "fathers" before they ever have kids, they have a natural interest in kids, there is a natural instinct or more maternal side to some men and there is a common sense factor that all play into it. Not to mention self education or exposure to newborns/ kids. Where there is a will, there is a way. If they have the interest and want to be around or learn about newborns, some guys just make it happen. Then some guys have literally never seen a newborn closer up than the little nugget strapped in the carseat in the front of the target cart 5 feet away from them. There are some that have 10 nieces and nephews and are seasoned pros before they ever have their own kids. Some guys like holding babies, others act like the little germ factories have the worst case of ebola there has even been and won't touch one with a 30 feet pole. I find it sooo incredibly interesting to feel out the new daddies in our unit at work for their comfort level. Some dads jump in immediately and want to help change the diaper the first time they meet their kid (remember in my world, the baby gets wisked away for about an hour or so before dad can usually come visit for the first time). Some literally stand in the doorway of their kids room and don't come a step further for the entire first day. (Now I am talking about full term kids here, not the super tiny sick ones, I get that).

When I have first time parents come in I make sure to try to calm fears first, especially dads (who usually come in alone first before mom is stable enough to come over). Then I try to get them excited about their tiny human. It's an awesome thing to have a baby and I want them to be pumped to meet their kid and empowered to take care of it because it can be so terrifying. I will admit that while I have the newborn stage aced, when my kid hits 3 months old I will be S.O.L. and that annoying first time panicky mom that calls the pediatrician all the freaking time asking what the hell I do to keep my kid alive. It kinda scares me that there is no test for competency with this whole parent thing, do I really have what it takes to keep a human alive and better yet make it into a decent member of society instead of an indoor homeless person that acts like a dirty rabid monkey living in my house instead of a decent child? How the hell do they know when they send it home with me that I can handle this?  Yikes, I'm scaring myself, I digress. But as a first time "parent" or soon to be parent, I am already feeling these anxieties. So imagine a new daddy....

They already feel out of the loop because they aren't the one that was raised to do this parent stuff. They usually aren't the one playing with baby dolls and changing their clothes and diapers and feeding them fake bottles and rocking them when they are 5 years old, they're playing in mud and climbing fences and jumping off the top of the fridge (I was doing both I think but whatevs). Little boys don't get the same extreme exposure to the new baby practice thing like little girls do. Women are born and raised to procreate, we babysit when we are teenagers, we like holding babies and we go to baby showers and have friends that we share WAAAY too much information with about their pregnancy, child birth and motherhood experiences. Dudes talk about who's the starting quarterback for the opposing team that week, not how breastfeeding is going and if their kid had a fever after it's 2 month immunizations. It's just different. But back to my point.....

Dads need some prep. Some guys it includes, "here is your new babe, it eats every 2-3 hours (if momma is breastfeeding you are off the hook and just get to be "supportive") but.... it needs a full belly and a warm bed and some love and you've already got the basics. "When I tell new dads that they kind of relax, seems simple enough. They like full bellys, they dig the warm bed thing and a great nap and love, well, who doesn't like that. They think, "Yep, I can do the nap and full belly thing, sounds great, throw boobs in the mix and I'm golden." They have alot of the same basic needs and interests as a newborn but they still need prep. Because even though we are having a man-child, he is still a child and his interests besides boobs will not include the NFL for the first little bit, it will include some other things too.

The prep for us has included alot of interesting conversations. Some serious, some hilarious and ridiculous. The topics include everything, pregnancy, breastfeeding, hospitalization, labor and delivery, full term nursery, first days at home, how to get our house (and dog) ready etc etc. Taylor has so many awesome questions for me. The things he thinks to ask me about are really amazing to me sometimes. Now the dude has had several years of me being a NICU nurse telling him about different experiences and funny, crazy, devastating or happy stories so he kind of knows how things work on my side but healthy baby side is a foreign experience to both of us really. I have inadvertantly made us both paranoid about the health of our baby because we both know all the things that go wrong that equal a NICU admission. So we have spent ALOT of time talking about how healthy baby deliveries go, healthy momma situations, healthy full term nursery stays, healthy baby feeding, healthy course of newborn stages for babies. We both need to brush up on the fact that what I see and tell him about is NOT the norm, for every NICU baby born there are several that come out healthy and fine. I have to keep reminding myself of that and reminding Taylor. I think it's good to prepare yourself for the good AND bad things that can happen in labor and delivery and with the baby but the emphasis on the good stuff is never a bad thing. I think you just have to hope for the best but be mildly prepared for the worst too.

I have literally been to hundreds of deliveries, I love to go to them, I love the adrenaline rush and to see the parents faces when their nugget enters the world and I love to get to say "Happy Birthday Baby!!" But I have never been in labor, I have never had to deliver a kid myself and I have never been the patient over there. I come in at the last minute when momma is pushing or C-section is starting and do the baby but I don't do the mommas and that's the part I need to know. So we are taking a childbirth class. It's two saturdays in January from 8-12. I'm sure alot of the info for me will be a repeat of things I know already but the labor part will all be new and I hope I can learn alot to help me be chill during the whole process. The last thing I want to be is the panicky crazy psycho patient in front of my co-workers. Knowledge is power my friends.

We also wanted Taylor to get to tour labor and delivery and mother/baby so he can see where we will be and how things will go down on D-day. I'm actually really excited to do the classes and show him a little more of "my world" and have him be able to help me during the process instead of me having to teach him about everything that goes on during the fact.

We are having alot of fun with baby things and momma things that we both will need. I have explained to Taylor the difference in a bouncy seat and a swing. That we will have the nugget in a basinette in our room for the first few weeks and that yes we need the basinette AND the crib. I've discussed the importance for a chair in baby's room to rock him and feed him in. I've talked about the difference in a onesie and a sleeper and that yes we need both. Just all these things. He is so excited for his son to be here that he instigates alot of these conversations and I am so grateful. He is going to be such a good dad, he cares, he is interested, he loves his baby and he loves me and his only desire in life is to take care of both of us. This whole new parent thing looks pretty damn good on him already and it makes me love him so much more than I already did.