Tuesday, July 30, 2013

How did we get here?

I know I have made a few references about Baby Smith FINALLY being on it's way and mentioning my Reproductive Endocrinologist's office and being "high risk". So what the heck am I talking about? Well it's a long story but we have been waiting for and praying for this little baby for a very long time. The last 18 months have been a very long and painful (and expensive) road known as infertility, but we traveled it together and we made it to the finish line, with a beautiful flickering heartbeat on a black screen.  So what happened along the way?

I knew I wanted to be a mother from the time I was a tiny girl and Taylor knew he wanted to be a father from an early age too. On our first date we talked about how many kids we wanted and his response was "10" and he wasn't kidding. I am one of 4 and I loved it. Both of my parents are 1 of 6 and I have tons of cousins. I love family and I want my kids to have that too. I want 4-5 ideally (if we can afford it of course). We initially decided we wanted to start a family right after we got married, or at least didn't want to prevent one from starting. But we quickly learned things were just not happening the way they should. After 6 months we saw my regular OB/GYN and she did a workup for infertility! WHAT?!? This can't be happening? Our moms never had trouble getting pregnant and we wanted this so badly? Why?! We were filled with lots of confusion, sadness and fear. I had tons of bloodwork and a sonogram done and I was diagnosed with PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian syndrome. It's a genetic syndrome that messes hormone levels up and prevents ovulation, thus preventing pregnancy. The sonogram also showed I had a membrane dividing my uterus in half that would need to be surgically removed so that when we did get pregnant our baby would have plenty of room to grow.

We were sent to an infertility specialist that is an expert in PCOS and treatment of it. She did my surgery last January and then a month later we were cleared to start moving forward with starting our family. We tried several rounds of infertility drugs and different combinations and doseages with absolutely not one hint of success. The meds were not working at all. We were heart broken and wondering if we would ever get the chance to be parents at all.  We had a meeting where our options were discussed. The choices were basically to try a round of a mixture of drugs that included several very expensive hormone shots I would have to give myself each day with the risk that it may not work or that it would work too well and we could end up with high order multiples. We did not want to be the next octomom. So our other option was to try IVF: In-vitro fertilization, which is more controlled. We decided that IVF was the way we felt we needed to go but this process is extensive, somewhat dangerous and costs several thousand dollars. As we were saving up money we begged our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) for a new drug that is not used very often to mix in with our cocktail of meds. Over the past year and a half I have googled everything there is to google and even have done some medical research in the KUmed library. Our doctor told us it wouldn't work if the other drugs we had already tried didn't, but we were persistant. We had nothing to lose at this point. This medicine is actually used for post-menopausal women with breast cancer and has a side effect of causing ovulation. It has been found to work very well in women with PCOS and we tried it and it worked! It only took 2 rounds of this combination of meds and we found those 2 beautiful pink lines and now a flickering heartbeat....and yes....just one.

I know infertility usually is a very private and painful journey and not many people know what we have gone through this whole time. But If we can help even one couple get to see that tiny flicker that we saw today, then it will be worth sharing our story.
We fought very hard for this baby and we are so excited to share our journey of pregnancy with you all. Thank you to our family and friends for all of your prayers and love and support. We are so blessed to have all of you with us in this happy time in our life.

Once again, Cinderella says it best!.

1st ultrasound

Today was a magical day in the Smith household. Taylor and I went to our first "OB sono" this morning. In the same room where we have had many sonos before while trying to get pregnant. This time our favorite sonographer said as she walked in "Well guys, congrats!". I was sooooo nervous and scared things wouldn't look quite right or the baby wouldn't measure or that we wouldn't see a heartbeat. At 6weeks 1 day pregnant, it could technically be still too early to see a heartbeat so we were prepared for that. She started our scan and I was shaking so bad. I looked at Taylor and he seemed a little nervous too and literally right then she said "Guys I see a heartbeat!" and she turned the screen around. I just started bawling. Like full blown, get the Kleenex, embarrassing, ugly cry. I think Taylor might have gotten a little choked up but I was a little distracted by my mess of tears. He took a picture of the screen and I got to take a video of that perfect tiny little flicker of hope....of life. That 10 second video I took has been watched so many times today and each time I get teary eyed. We created a life, a baby, our baby! It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The nurse met with us afterward and said everything looked fantastic and we have another ultrasound next Tuesday and one the week after that just to make sure everything looks great before our "close out" and release to the regular OB.

Without further ado! Meet Baby Smith!
 


 
 
 


 

Monday, July 29, 2013

6 weeks and the BIG reveal!

Today I am 6 weeks pregnant. Today WE are 6 weeks pregnant!
Taylor never understood why people say "we are pregnant". He always said "but babe, he isn't pregnant, HE is waiting, his WIFE is pregnant, not him"......until now. I heard him say it the other day and didn't make a big fuss over it, but WE are pregnant, WE are expecting our first baby and WE are excited!

This week we have our first sonogram, still with the reproductive endocrinologist's office since I am still considered "high risk". I love these girls, they helped god make a miracle and I am so excited to get to share this first moment with them, people I know and love and who are celebrating with me, with US about this baby. Taylor gets to come with me and we will be 6 weeks and 1 day. I have read all over the internet and in my book "what to expect...." that by 6 weeks you could see a heartbeat. It might be too early to see that tiny little flicker still but it might not and we are praying praying praying we see it. That tiny little blinking spot that means our baby is alive and it's heart is beating. I would be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous. I know a lot can happen still but I feel positive and I have lots of prayer warriors praying for this baby to be healthy and strong.

Even more prayer warriors because....We told our parents yesterday!
We went to Taylor's parents house in the afternoon like we usually do, nothing out of the norm. Except we put this T-shirt on Cora. A T-shirt that said "I'm the BIG sister March 2014". We let Cora in the house and they noticed her T-shirt, read it and didn't really say anything, looks of confusion all over their faces. We took them outside to let Cora run around and let it sink in a little bit and handed them a giftbag with orange tissue paper. They opened it together and pulled out a tiny onesie painted with the OSU logo and "Go Pokes" on it. Monte looked at us and said "What? Wait? Really?" we told them they were going to be grandparents and Shawn turned around and started bawling......so fun!!


Then we took Cora back home and went to my parents house for Steve's birthday dinner. I brought my camera over and had it sitting on the hutch, Erika picked it up and started looking through my memory card (filled with chalkboard pictures and pictures of pregnancy tests). I took it away quickly and told her she can't see yet. She looked at me funny and knew something was up so we took her out to the car and had her open her giftbag. She started tearing up and gave us huge hugs, she said "I feel like I need to cry but I can't let mom know yet!" We told her our plan and went inside. We had dinner with everyone there, Mom, Steve, Grandma Janet, Don, Uncle Mark, Erika, Marcus, Rachel and the two of us. When dinner was done we had Steve open his present.... He pulled a tiny onesie with "grandpa's little piglet" written on it and the Arkansas razorback on it. They all looked at us confused as well. My mom's jaw was on the floor. We told them that we were pregnant and they about died! Everyone hugged us and was so excited. We then let my mom and Erika open their onesies and my mom started crying!







 You can't really see my stomach in this picture but trust me there isn't anything to see yet.
 

How far along? 6 weeks, baby is the size of a pea!
Total weight gain: down another pound -4 total.
Maternity clothes? Not yet
Sleep: Still exhausted.
Best moment this week: Telling our parents! Soooo fun!
Miss Anything? Still wine lol
Movement: WAAY too soon
Food cravings: Ice cream!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing in particular this week.
Gender: No idea, we will be thrilled either way. 
Symptoms: Some intermittent nausea, just really tired.
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy & EXCITED to say the least! A little anxious to get the first ultrasound done and tell everyone else
Looking forward to: Our Ultrasound!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

5 weeks

As of monday July 22th, 2013, I am officially 5 weeks pregnant. I know that this is super early but we are going to start keeping track of my pregnancy and this little baby weekly. Here is week 5's chalkboard and stats.

How far along? 5 weeks
Total weight gain: I have actually lost 3 pounds, morning sickness? Eating healthier? not sure. 
Maternity clothes? nope, obviously not but I have been browsing some online shopping already :)
Sleep: I have been exhausted lately! I could sleep 24 hours/day. 
Best moment this week: just soaking up every last bit of this exciting news. We have waited sooo long. It has been fun to tell my secret society of work friends that have been my biggest supporters during my infertility journey. 3 of them cried! And to get our blood work back that was great as well as scheduling sonogram appointments and our first doctor's visit with our OB. 
Miss Anything? I would love a glass of wine or a margarita to celebrate this but that's ok!
Movement: WAAY too soon
Food cravings: fresh fruit, cottage cheese, pizza. Some things just sound better than others.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Strong smells of food have bothered me lately. But nothing in particular has made me sick, just smells gross.
Gender: No idea, we will be thrilled either way. 
Symptoms: Some intermittent nausea and much more "morning" sickness and just really tired. A little moody today too. Sorry Taylor!
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy & EXCITED to say the least! A little anxious to get the first ultrasound done and tell everyone.
Looking forward to: telling everyone about this baby! It will be the first grandbaby on both sides. Our families are going to flip!

Hurry up Tuesday! We just want to see our baby!!!

Little Baby Smith

Well we had the 4th and final blood drawn yesterday to confirm that this little baby is really growing and sticking with us and we are so excited to announce that....
Baby Smith is FINALLY on his/her way!




Here are the first 3 tests. The two strips have two lines on them but only my highly trained eye could see them.

 
 Here is the progression each day as the baby grows, the levels rise and the lines get darker. Pretty cool to see.


My blood results were fantastic and our favorite nurse scheduled us for our very first ultrasound for next Tuesday. July 30th, 2013. I will be 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant at that time and we might get to see the heart beating if it is developed enough at that point. We are absolutely ecstatic! I actually broke down and bought the book "What to expect when you're expecting" and "The belly book", which is a journal/scrapbook to document your pregnancy with fill in the blank pages and spots for pictures. This is all becoming real and we can't even believe it. The baby's due date is estimated at March 24th, 2014 by dates. Our sonogram will tell us how baby is measuring and we will get a better idea of exact due date at that time. Because I am considered high risk based on our efforts to get pregnant, my doctor will have us do 3 sonograms early on in the pregnancy and make sure everything is ok before releasing me to the regular OB/GYN for our first prenatal appointment and we are definitely ok with that! We want to see our little babe as many times as possible. So as of now we have sonograms scheduled for 6, 7 AND 8 weeks pregnant with our first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks 2 days. It also just so happens to be Grandma Smith's birthday. We are just hoping for a safe and happy pregnancy with a healthy baby and momma at the end.
Each week we are going to take pictures with our chalkboard to keep track of my growing belly and what is going on that week in our pregnancy. You know how I say "Mother's are the memory keepers" that is me!
Here is me with our first chalkboard. Ignore my stomach in this one, I was extremely bloated this week.