Friday, May 30, 2014

Cora- The mother hen

Wanna know what's a fun way to spend your day? Taking care of your new baby (can I call him new when he is 9 weeks old? Sure I can, I'm his mother, he will be "new" until the day he dies because I'm choosing to live in denial that he is growing up. Technically each day with him will be a new experience so whatevs, he's still new. Judge me if you wish) Dang I get on tangents, sorry! 
So taking care of a new baby and constantly making your sure your mother hen of a dog knows her place in the family. Cora....this red, fluffy, super soft, super sweet, snuggly, crazy, hyper-bonded bag of fur that we love....does not know her place in our family anymore. Poor thing. She's confused. She thinks she is Henry's mother and not his big sister. What the heck am I talking about you ask? Read on.

Before Henry, she was the baby, Taylor would come home every night from work and she would freak out and he would get on the floor immediately and let her kiss him and he'd hug her and play with her and pet her until she calmed down.
They're obsessed with each other and that is good with me. When Cora was 2 weeks new to our house, Taylor got laid off and stayed home with Cora for the next 9 weeks before he found another job. It was just the two of them all the ding dong day and their love for each other became ridiculous. 




We worked really hard with Cora to train her well as a puppy and even took her to obedience classes for 8 weeks so we would have some control over her behavior so that when we had kids she would be a great family dog for us. We also worked with her to get her used to the idea of Henry coming. She knew something was up when my belly got enormous and she even used to come sit by me and lay her head on my stomach. Such a sweet girl. look!


 But we were worried she would get jealous not being the center of our attention anymore, especially with Taylor paying attention to Henry instead of her. I mean these two snuggle on the couch or in our bed every single night while watching TV and if Taylor was holding the baby instead I was afraid Cora would freak out and either get depressed and feel left out or start acting out and getting aggressive and possessive over Taylor.



Our vet told us that we needed to play the sound of a newborn baby making noises and crying on our phones on you tube videos so she would get used to the sound and it wouldn't scare her. She is kind of a big baby when it comes to new things and being scared of them. He also told us to turn on the swing and baby toys and let them play so she was used to them all and to walk around with a baby doll wrapped in a blanket so she would realize we would have our hands full. He said to lay the wrapped up doll on the floor or couch and set boundries with her that if the doll was there she couldn't jump up on the bed.couch, chair, or being on the floor on top of the baby doll. (we skipped the baby doll thing bc I felt stupid doing it but we did everything else). When we brought Henry home we slowly introduced them and paid a ton of attention to Cora when we got home so that things would be as usual, then we showed her the baby and it took some time of her sniffing him and looking at him to get used to him being around. 


She never once was aggressive with him just curious.



 She still sits with Taylor on the couch but sometimes she has to share Daddy with Henry and she seems pretty okay with it because Taylor still makes time for just Cora snuggles.




But lately she has become obsessed with and possesive over Henry. She has to always know what room he is in. When we get home from somewhere and we let her out of her kennel she immediately bypasses us and runs to find the baby and make sure he is ok. She won't go outside or eat without knowing where he is first. If she comes in from the back yard she goes to find him first and after she puts tabs on him she will settle down. Unless....He is making noise.


When puppies make noise they are calling for their mother to come to them for comfort or for milk. This little red mother hen thinks every time Henry makes a peep that he is calling for her and needs her. Which is honestly so freaking cute. Thus, he cries and she comes running to him, he coos and she comes running, he burps or farts or coughs or squeaks and she comes running. She is such a great dog and I love her so for being so sweet and caring toward him.


So here are my issues....

Insert problem #1- When she comes running to him to make sure he is okay, she kisses him (which is what mother dog's do to their pups). I really don't want her licking all over him and his face and hands. Plus he doesn't like it either. So I tell her "no kisses Cora". She knows what that means because when I say it to her when she is licking us, she stops immediately. With Henry, she looks me dead in the face and kisses him deliberately. OR she will stop kissing him, run away to make me think she's done, sneak back over, look at me, kiss him and run away again. She sneaks them in whenever she can. Brat! :)
Insert problem #2- She is stubborn as hell. I will lay Henry on the floor and change his diaper in our living room instead of taking him all the way upstairs and she will come start kissing him, I tell her no and push her away and she comes back even more forceful to get to him in any way she can. I have to barricade him with my body to keep her away because I am afraid she will pounce him trying to get to him through me. It makes me nervous bc he is so little still. 
Insert problem #3- She is getting too possessive. She uses her feet alot when she plays and she thinks he wants to play with her too and she tries to bat at him with her paws and such especially when I am trying to keep her away from him. She thinks it's a game and doesn't take me seriously. I have swatted her nose when she gets too rough and doesn't listen and then she goes and pouts in the corner and won't look at me the rest of the day. I feel bad enough she doesn't get all of our attention anymore and the last thing I want her to feel is left out and jealous and sad. Breaks my heart. 
He was crying in this pic and my in-laws were trying to keep her from kissing him.
I love her dearly but I was stuck not knowing what to do to get her to stop. So I called the guy who is the miracle worker that taught our puppy obedience class. He pointed out to me that she isn't being a bad dog or doing anything wrong so we have to be careful with how we handle boundry setting. We don't want her to think she is in trouble for being around the baby, she is a part of our family too and deserves to be present and sit next to us when he is being held etc. 

But we have to make boundries clear to her and be in control. Taylor works daily with her on her basic commands to refresh her all the time, sit, down, stay, come, drop, fetch etc. Now it's my turn, I am the one home during the day that is having the issue so she needs to be listening to me more so I have to work with her on her commands especially drop and leave it. He said if she will drop a tennis ball (and she will) she should drop the baby's hand and stop kissing it if we start practicing that command related to him. OR use a "leave it" command to leave him alone. 
Even in this pic she was watching him and couldn't stop.

 He basically said to treat her like a toddler with a new baby brother and make sure she knows that they can be friends and she can be a protective older sister but she has to be gentle and listen to what her mommy and daddy tell her to do. I found it hilarious that he suggested getting her involved and letting her help. Having her fetch a toy of the baby's or a diaper so she feels connected to him and doesn't feel banished or left out.
I want her to be relaxed enough to continue to sit with us and not get anxious and get up to get in his face when he makes noise (because if he is any kid of ours, he won't ever stop talking once he starts). 

She is our first baby and we just have to work with her to get her to be an appropriate big sister and not so much the mother hen... Operation get Cora to chill out commence! 






Wanna know what is terrifying?

Like truly disturbing, pit in your stomach, feeling a little nauseated, crying style terrifying..... 

Feeling like you are starving your baby. 

WORST. FEELING. EVER.

The thing with breastfeeding is that there is no way to tell how much milk you have, how much milk your baby actually eats and when it is more or less than usual. 
Yes this post is about breastfeeding, for those of you grossed out or uninterested, move along, there will be more posts about other things soon but since this blog is my journal of sorts and how I'm keepin memories for my kids (and myself for when I'm sittin in a rocker and can't remember my name or how many kids I even have), I'm talking about it. mmk? 

Anyshways, where were we? Oh yes, starving of the babes. Not fun I tell you, Not fun. Now let me say first, Henry is fine, he was never starving, never sick. Just fine...BUT last week I didn't feel like he was. There is this primal thing in motherhood, that I honestly wasn't expecting to be so strong, but overwhelms me. I NEED to know where my baby is, that he is happy and okay and well fed and has clean pants. It's just how I am with this whole motherhood thing which I consider a good thing. Part of him being okay is to be well fed. 
Henry hasn't gotten a drop of formula since he was born and that is something I am extremely proud of. We had our troubles with breastfeeding at the start because of his high palate and lots of pain for me but we troubleshot the issues and kept pushing forward and I am so glad we did. I do whatever it takes to make sure he gets only breastmilk because it is important to me. I have studied the health benefits and seen first hand how well NICU babes do when breastfed or given just breastmilk vs. formula.  It's something I can do to make my baby healthy and give him a good start in life and if I can do that for him then why wouldn't I? There are several reasons why women can't or don't breastfeed and that is okay if you can't or don't. I'm not preachy on the subject, I get it. Some moms do everything to get their baby breastfeeding and they just never quite latch or stay full or there are supply issues or mom is on some medicines not safe for baby or have had trauma to their breasts etc. Some moms see their boobs as sex objects and not for anything else and it's uncomfortable and awkward for them or they don't like it.  If for some reason I couldn't it would be okay, formula fed babies still grow and do well but for me it's just a big deal and if the importance of breastfeeding and breastmilk is something near and dear to your heart then stick with it and get the help you need from the pros (there are lots of them, from lactation consultants, online message boards, pediatricians, fellow veteran mommas, breastfeeding support groups, websites, etc I've used them all ). It's just an amazing thing to me honestly, sometimes I look at Taylor and say, "dude, I've kept a human alive for 9 full weeks with just my boobs!" A HUMAN! WITH MY BOOBS! MINE! weird. It makes them waaaay cooler to me than just filling out a pink Victoria's Secret bra like they did before.
But, it's really unpredictable and hard to control and we all know I HATE NOT HAVING CONTROL. I want to know how much milk Henry should be getting for his age and how often and make sure he gets it. That's my NICU nurse in me.  In the NICU we calculate the baby's milk or fomula volume needs based on their daily weight and we give that amount to them every 3 hours by bottle or feeding tube and that's the end of it. No guess work, nice and easy and planned and controlled. Well Henry, as I have discussed before, has made me give up alot of my control because in alot of ways he calls the shots in his tiny little life. When he naps, when he eats, poops through his outfit the one time his stupid mommy forgot to pack a spare, spits up all over his cute outfit 5 minutes before we have to leave for a lunch date or doctor's appointment, or decides to have a light snack before we have some place to go instead of actually eating alot and then looses his mind the second he gets in the carseat or the location that makes it impossible or awkward to nurse him in. He has taken alot of my control and my anxiety about it has grown less and less over time and as I adjust to "going with the flow". I don't usually go with any flow, and if I do, I need to know exactly where that river is going and how fast and then I will flow with it. But until now my life (on purpose) has been filled with very little unknowns. At least as little as I could arrange for. Breastfeeding is funny in that way, its the ultimate motherhood unknown. It's the one thing new moms stress most about. You know you can learn to change a diaper and keep a baby dressed warmly enough and you learn to rock them to sleep the way they like but you can't control breastfeeding that well. In fact, since he was born my way to know he was getting enough food from me has been guess work and a little bit of looking for clues:
  •  the number of wet and dirty diapers each day (should be 6-8 wet and 3-4 dirty for breastfed babes) 
  • that he was sleeping well 
  • he seemed happy and content.
  • I could see milk in his mouth during feeds, dripping down his chin, or actually coming out of me (Weird and awkward I know, sorry again if TMI) 
  • I felt full before feedings and empty after.
  • and that I could pump milk out at any time and still get at least an ounce or two. 
However, just when I think I have things down and I have a routine starting to set up...surprise! NOPE. So I noticed that Henry seemed fussier than normal, he had less heavy wet diapers, hadn't pooped in 36 hours (which can be normal at his age but wasn't normal for him), he wanted to nurse non-stop, he was sucking on his hands and showing hunger cues when he wasn't nursing, when he would nurse he would repeatedly break his latch and look up at me and then try to latch and eat again as if to say "mom, why is it empty" and most of all I felt empty all the time and noticed when I pump daily first thing in the morning after Henry's first feed that I went from pumping 5-6oz each time to barely 1oz. MY MILK WAS DRYING UP!!! AHHHH! So insert ultimate fear, starving your baby. The first morning I realized what was going on, I only had pumped 3oz that morning and Henry started the fussy, not staying latched feeling more empty thing. The second morning I could barely get an ounce and he was showing all those other signs. I panicked! I just started bawling when I looked down in my pumping bottles and saw they were essentially empty instead of full of milk like usual. I cried for 30 minutes in the shower that morning and throughout the entire day each time I would nurse because I knew he wasn't getting as much as he wanted. I thawed some of my pumped milk and gave him a few bottles to top him off after nursing so he wasn't getting dehydrated or starving and I cried bottle feeding him too. Breastfeeding is great for babies and for moms and I felt so incredibly guilty. I know it's what is best for him and If my milk really was disappearing for good I felt he was getting jipped. I kept thinking that he only had 8 weeks of breastmilk and that wasn't enough! My goal was to breastfeed for 9 months minimum. The american academy of pediatrics has studies and studies of the benefits to babies that breastfeed exclusively for a year and the benefits to mom's too. So what happened? What did I do wrong? Why was it so sudden? What had changed? Was it because I am losing weight? and then I kept thinking that my stash of frozen milk that seemed plentiful before would only last us about a week if that's all he had to eat because my 5-6oz every morning is only one feed for him and he eats 6-8x/day. 
The worst part....It was saturday morning, no access to my pediatrician or my doctor until tuesday because of the holiday. I desperately asked fellow momma friends what to do and some fellow NICU nurses with special training in lactation assistance and then got ahold of the lactation consultant at the hospital and finally realized that my body just didn't think Henry needed milk anymore. He has been sleeping through the night now 6-8 hours and had been eating alot but only every 3-4 hours and my body just slowed down thinking he didn't need as much. I did a few "power pumping" sessions in those two days to stimulate more milk production and had Henry nurse essentially all day and then got up the past few nights in the middle of the night to pump while he sleeps and my volume is back up, my kid is pooping and peeing more, he is sleeping longer and seems happier and life is back as it was....but wow that was a close call. I also chugged water and started taking fenugreek, an herbal supplement that is shown to help milk production in 9 out of 10 women. I think that helped too. I just know now not to take breastfeeding for granted, it takes alot of work and sometimes it's a pain in the butt boobs but it's so worth it for my baby (and myself) to be healthy. *

In case you were wondering, here are some of the facts about breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding has been proven to reduce your baby's risk for
  • SIDS
  •  type I & II diabetes
  • asthma
  •  allergies
  • leukemia 
  • childhood cancers 
  • obesity
  •  ear infections
  •  Chron's
  •  meningitis
  •  GI  infections like flu 
  • respiratory tract infections and colds 
  •  increases immune system
  •  increases IQ by 10 points
  • gives perfect nutrition for what baby needs at the time
  • Babies cry 43% less than formula fed babies
  • less gas and colic
  • less constipation
  • less likely to require a tonsilectomy
  • less picky eaters- breastmilk picks up flavors of foods momma eats and can help prepare baby's palate for table foods
  • fewer UTI's
For mommas: It has been proven to reduce risks for
  •  breast cancer by up to 50%
  •  ovarian cancer by up to 21%
  •  type II diabetes
  •  obesity
  • decreases stress
  • decreases postpartum depression
  • better bonding with baby
  • significantly higher weight loss, especially in hips and thighs (burns 300-800 calories daily)
  • reduces bone density loss after menopause
BUT best of all these are my favorite reasons why I like breastfeeding:
  • It's always warm and ready when Henry decides he needs to eat NOW. I don't have to pack bottles, ice packs, a way to heat it up and carry it with me, it's just there.
  • it has helped me lose weight faster.
  • It can give me a good excuse to escape an overstimulating environment or one that is just annoying or boring ( I can sneak off to feed him). 
  • It forces us to both have downtime. Even at home it makes me stop what I am doing and just sit and relax and enjoy my baby and rest for 20 minutes. 
  • Most of the time no matter what the issue is, nursing will make him happy in a split second
  • It's a bonding thing for us, he needs me and I love that
  • It's cheap! The milk is free (the nursing pads and milk storage bottles are not) and that's fine because it's wayyyy cheaper than formula, bottles, nipples, etc. 
  • It forces me to eat healthier because I know he gets what I get and I want to pack him with nutrients and in return I am a healthier momma for him. 
  • It's good for my confidence. I feel good knowing that I could grow a baby in my womb and deliver him safely into this world and now that I can feed him the way nature intended and keep him as healthy as possible. It makes me feel like super woman and that's a pretty cool thing. 
So starving babies are scary things but I don't have one here thank god. Here's to another day in the life of a personal dairy cow. And I couldn't be more happy about it. 







Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Month 2 photo dump


Just a bunch of Henry Pics 




















Deanna Rose Farmstead

Aunt-E and I took Henry to Deanna Rose Farmstead for the first time today. We used to go alot when we were little and have fond memories there so before Aunt-E gets a summer job we decided to take Henry. And by take Henry I really mean but Henry in his stroller while he slept and Erika and I looked at and fed the animals. He literally slept the entire time we were there which was fine because he is too little to care about any of it but the fresh air was great and it was a fun way to spend the morning with my sister.