Father's Day, a love story.

Yesterday we celebrated Taylor's first Father's day and nothing says Happy 1st Father's day like chuckin the deuces and throwin him into the deep end with his kid while I went back to work for the first night. Sink or swim babe. Sink. or. swim. But he swam! They both did! But we will get to that part in a hot second.

Taylor told me on our first date that since he was an only child and missed out on the experience of having siblings that he wanted 10 kids. With a strait face. *Record skip* Say what?! 10?! Fo Real? and he said "yep", plain as day. He wants a whole sports team, he may end up with a basketball team (5) instead of a football team but hey we will see what God gives us.

We've always wanted a big family and a whole bunch of kids running around causing chaos and smearin' poop on the wall and letting a jar of lighting bugs loose in the house and giggling as they try to kill each other. What? That was my childhood? oh ok, whoops (all but the poop part...I made that up because I was ornery and my kids will surely be 100x worse because payback is a biotch). There is something about me that loves and is fascinated by a large family and Taylor too. We by no means want to be the Duggars but we kind of feel that as long as we can afford them, the more the merrier.

twins

 This means infertility was just as hard on Taylor as it was on me. People think men don't care or don't get emotional about infertility and are just along for the ride. Someone once told me "I can't believe you are making your husband do all that testing and you're putting him through all that." The truth is, he was just as on board for whatever it took as I was. He wanted to be a dad just as badly as I wanted to be a mom. He sat through awkward tests and came to almost all the appointments and felt the crushing devastation of another failed cycle. He walked around the hospital for hours waiting during my surgery holding a bag of my clothes, he held me when I cried and while I didn't see his tears, I know he felt it all too. He got his hopes up over and over just like I did. He didn't kill me when I was a hormonal nightmare from fertility drugs. He worked hard and found ways to help us afford our fertility meds and treatments by working extra and redoing out budget. He has been so involved from minute one of this family starting process.

He was there every step of my pregnancy from first sonogram to last. He squinted under different lights month after month looking for 2 pink lines instead of one.  He held me together and prayed for us and kept his optimism during our spina bifida scare. He held my hair when I was sick day after day, night after night, week after week. He shoved ice cream down my throat when I felt good enough to eat just to get calories in me, he refilled my anti-nausea prescriptions, sat with me in the hospital while I had to get IV fluids and meds and made me laugh so I wouldn't cry, he gave up on eating at a restaurant for months because I couldn't handle the smells, he let me choose where and what and when we ate, he never asked me to cook and gained weight because he had to fend for himself and eat fast food. He helped me register for baby crap and shop a bajillion times without complaining. He decorated the nursery exactly how I wanted and built Henry's crib. He held my hand and made me laugh during labor, he took incredible pictures and videos for me when Henry was born because he knows how important the memories are for me. He fed me and held my drink up for me and put my chapstick on me if my lips looked dry while I was using both hands to learn to feed our son. He stayed up countless nights with me just to rub my back as I nursed so I wouldn't feel alone. He makes me give Henry to him so that I go upstairs to take a hot bubble bath or shower after he gets home from work.  He has become the most amazing husband and father from even before Henry was conceived but especially now. Taylor was made to be a dad and a damn good one at that. He holds Henry every chance he gets, gets jealous when someone else is holding him instead. He can't wait to pick Henry up, hug and kiss and talk to him when he walks in the door. He plays with him, has learned how to feed, diaper, bathe, swaddle and love him like a great father should. He rocks him and reads him stupid children's books and he loves like I've never seen. He loves him so good.
I know I am bragging but he deserves the recognition. He didn't have to be so involved or so loving and supportive but he wants to and that's the best part. It makes me cry to see how that man loves his family.

So when I had to go back to work last night and leave my boys for the first time I of course was devastated. I haven't been away from Henry longer than 2 hours before and I'm a control freak. That's a bad combination for a mother going back to work but the good news is. I couldn't ask for a better situation. My son gets to stay home in the evenings and snuggle and play with his daddy and have special bonding time with him while I go help save sick babes at work. Because I work night shift (full time which is only 3 nights/ week) I get to go to work at 6pm knowing that my wonderful husband is home with my baby taking the best care of him possible instead of a stranger. I don't have to worry because I know Taylor gives him just as good of care and love as I do. It was hard to leave them but I didn't cry because I knew they were going to do great. Taylor updated me through the night, even gave Henry a bath, did his bedtime routine, fed a bottle, rocked, snuggled, read books and put him to bed by 10pm.

Taylor sent me this picture at work of Henry fresh out of the bath, happy and snuggled in his clean warm jammies. 

Taylor,
I couldn't ask for a better partner in life, I was so in love with you before, but my love has grown exponentially watching you love our son. You're an incredible father, the best I could have ever imagined and I can't thank God enough for you. Thank you for everything you do for both of us and Happy First Father's Day!
We love you babe!
Love,
Babe and Hankers

*******************************************************************************
For Father's day we didn't do much since I was sleeping before work and getting ready (poor Taylor) but we did have homemade cinnamon rolls (Taylor's favorite), Henry and I gave Taylor a homemade card from Henry, a rack for all of his fishing poles for the garage and his fishing licence for this year. And then of course he had 14 hours of single dad duty while I was gone. hehe

This was Taylor's card

I also made them for my stepdad and Taylor's dad

This one is for Taylor's dad because he likes to fish. 

And this one is for my stepdad because he loves to golf (see the golf greens are Henry's footprints)

Happy First father's day babe, you're the best and Happy father's day to our dads and all the others in the world! We love you!

(and as for work....it was actually really good. I had a few meltdowns this week putting Henry to bed and doing his night time routine because I was going to miss it when I had to be gone at work but when I left yesterday my boys were snuggling on the couch, Henry was asleep loving on his daddy's chest and I knew they would be fine. I was actually more nervous about going back to work because I was afraid I would have forgotten what to do and wouldn't know new protocols or changes that had been made while I was gone. I was also nervous about having a patient assignment that would allow me to step away 3 times during the shift to pump.  But, I got floated to Full Term Nursery (we take turns floating when we are overstaffed and other units need help. Out of the girls that were on last night, they had all floated while I was off work so it was my turn). It turned out great because full term nursery is healthy babies that don't have a super strict schedule and I was able to pump three times and ease back into the swing of things with simple baby assessments, blood sugars, lab draws and breastfeeding help. It was great being a momma myself to speak from experience now. I feel like I was hopefully more helpful than I was prior to having a baby. I'm excited to be back and see my work friends. I love my job and I love helping provide for my family. When I got home Henry woke up and I was standing there and he got the biggest smile and belly laugh I have ever seen out of him, he was so excited to see me and that's when I lost it and started crying. I've held him all day....

New momma meals ( Part 2)

Here is my update, and I am updating to hold myself accountable. I am still doing weight watchers and I've now lost 8.3lbs in 4 weeks. I am pretty happy with that because I know I have been healthy about it. I'm determined to lose quite a bit more so we continue to eat healthy for weight loss and to be a healthy family and set a good example for our son. No excuses anymore. (Taylor is obviously eating healthy too because that is what I cook and he has not eaten fast food since we started this. Success! He has lost 8lbs too)

So here are a few more recipes/meals that I have whipped up in recent weeks that I want to share.
First up:
Parmasean Ranch Chicken and Cheesy Quinoa (with canned peas)

Parmasean Ranch Chicken:

• Boneless skinless chicken breasts (I buy "smart chicken" because it tastes so much better and it's hormone and antibiotic free, free range chicken) They're huge so I butterfly them in half and make 4 peices out of 2. 
• Fat free Ranch dressing
• Italian breadcrumbs (I use gluten free breadcrumbs or cornflake crumbs (which are gluten free and you can buy already crushed up)
• parmasean cheese (the grated kind, not the powdered)
• Garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste

Put Chicken breasts in a corningwear dish, coat with a light layer of ranch dressing, sprinkle breadcrumbs and cheese on top and bake for 20-25 min at 350. Seriously that's it. Pretty Healthy (6ww points each)

Cheesy Quinoa: 

This is equally as easy. I bought quinoa from Trader Joes. The kind I bought was in the freezer section, already cooked which was really easy because I don't know how to cook it normally. I will work on that and let ya know. 

• Quinoa (I used the whole package which was 2 cups)
• Shredded cheddar cheese
• Salt and pepper 

The instructions on the box told me to pour the quinoa into a saucepan with 4Tbsp of water (add more if needed) and heat it throroughly until soft and all water is absorbed. That's it. Then I just added some shredded cheddar cheese and salt and pepper to it. I did have broccoli florets to add to it for some veggies but I thawed them out from my freezer and they smelled god aweful so I threw them out. But that would be tasty to add some veggies to it. (6ww points for 1/2 cup, it's only high in points because it's packed with fiber and protein, well worth it). 

Teryaki Salmon with Green Bean Almondine and Wild Rice Pilaf

Teryaki Salmon:

• Salmon filets (I buy these from Trader Joes too because they are cheaper and you can get wild caught which has waaaay less mercury and bad stuff than the farm raised salmon)
• 4 heaping Tbsp of brown sugar
• 1 cup pulp free orange juice 
• 1 tsp ginger
• 1 Heaping Tbsp of minced garlic
• 1 cup soy sauce
• I also splashed in a little bit of soyaki sauce from Trader Joes (if you haven't tried it, get it now and use it on EVERYTHING) 

Throw all of this including the salmon into a gallon size ziplock bag and let sit in the fridge to marinate for a few hours (or don't I didn't have more than an hour to let it sit and it turned out jussst fine). Put your salmon in a foil lined baking dish, pour marinade over salmon until it almost covers the tops of the filets, this will give you a nice glaze on top. Seal top of baking dish with foil and bake at 450 for 20 minutes until fish is flakey. (7 ww pts for a 5oz portion)

Green Bean Almondine:

Fresh Green Beans from the produce section (I buy these organic too). 

Red pepper flake, salt and pepper to taste

2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil. 

Raw Almond slivers (they're cheaper at Trader Joe's)

Red pepper flake, salt and pepper

Get Olive oil into a hot skillet and put green beans in (I cut the ends off and cut them into bite size chunks usually). Season with red pepper flake, salt and pepper and cook until tender but still has a little bit of a snap (I don't like them mushy). Then add as many almonds as you wish to the skillet or just add them on top at the end if you want them extra crunchy. (2ww pts, the green beans are 0 pts, just count the almonds. 2 pts is for 2 tbsp of them)

The wild rice is just an Uncle Ben's 90 second packet that you pop in the microwave for yep, you guessed it, 90 seconds and serve. They have a million flavors but the brown and wild is my fav. 

Lettuce wraps 

Lettuce wrap filling:

• 1 head of iceberg lettuce
• 1lb 99% lean Ground Turkey (or chicken)
• 1 cup shelled edamame (in the freezer section)
• 1 can sliced bamboo shoots (mince them up)
• 1 can sliced water chestnuts (I use my slap chop to mince these up too)
• 1 package of fresh mushrooms chopped small
• 1 Tbsp minced garlic
• 2 Tbsp vinegar
• 1/4 cup soysauce
• 1 tsp ginger
• 1 tsp red pepper flake
• 4 Tbsp hoisin or thai sweet chili sauce
• Add these sauces to your liking based on how hot you like things, sriracha, chinese hot mustard. 

Cook the meat for a little bit first until it's almost done (it's poultry so it should not be pink anymore) add all your vegetables and sauces and cook until your meat is done and the all is hot. 

The sauce for these is just a mixture of more vinegar, soy sauce, sriaracha, chinese hot mustard and thai sweet chili sauce. I get rice noodles for some crunch and put those on top of the mixture in peices of Iceberg lettuce and roll up. mmmm

 Cheesy Chicken, roasted cauliflower, asparagus and carrots

 Cheesy Chicken :

• 1lb chicken breast tenders (again I use smart chicken)
• a few Tbsp of fat free mayo
• Shredded cheddar 
• Shredded mozerella 

Put tin foil over a cookie sheet and spray with cooking spray, place chicken tenders down and put a thin layer of mayo on top of each one, then sprinkle each of the cheeses on top and bake 20 minutes at 350. These come out so cheesy and delish and Taylor had no idea I used mayo (after all it's only egg and oil which is what you use for chicken coating anyway). So good

Roasted Vegetables

Roasted Vegetables:

Take whatever fresh vegetables you want, cut them up to bite size peices and throw in a bowl with a teeny tiny bit of olive oil, salt and pepper and sometimes I add garlic powder to them. To my asparagus I add a splash of lemon juice. Then roast on a foil lined cookie sheet for 20 min at 350. Delish and healthy (all vegetables except peas, potatoes, sweet potatoe and corn are 0pts) This is the same chicken just different vegetables. 

Southwest Chicken Eggrolls with avacado ranch dipping sauce

 Southwest Chicken Eggrolls:
I have posted this one before but it's one of our family's favs so I will post it again.

1.5lbs of boneless skinless chicken breast

2 cups pepperjack (or cheddar) cheese- shredded

8oz package of frozen chopped spinach (or fresh, doesn't matter)

15oz can of black beans

15oz can corn

2- 4oz can green chilis

lime juice

wonton wrappers

olive oil

seasoning- my old tried and true combo, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, red pepper flake. All to taste.

So we start with chicken, boil a pot of water (gross I know, I don't like it either but this is way easier). Drop your chicken in and boil for 10-15 minutes or until cooked all the way through... I use my kitchen-aid mixer to shred the chicken, just put your chicken in the bowl while it's hot and use your paddle blade on low for 30 seconds. Whalla! Shredded chicken, but you can use two forks to shred it too. 

Whilst that is a-brewin' take a strainer and drop your frozen spinach into it and run under cold water for 5 minutes occasionally stirring with your fingers and breaking up large chunks until spinach is all thawed. Strain water and pat dry with paper towel, you don't want soggy wontons. If you use fresh, just rinse and dry and cut up in small peices. 

In a bowl, mix corn, cheese,  green peppers, beans and seasoning. When chicken is done and shredded add that, add  spinach when that is all thawed and dry-ish. Mix!!!

Take wontons and put lots of mix into the middle, they hold alot more than you think. Run your finger along the edges with olive oil or water and tuck ends in and roll up.  Pop in the oven on a foiled lined cookie sheet. Cook 20 minutes-ish until wrappers are crispy, you will need to flip them over about half way through. Everything in them is already cooked you just want the shell crispy and the middle heated through. 

Whilst those are a cookin' mix  ranch and an avacado and some lime juice to taste together until smooth.... serve!!

These make TONS, freeze um and heat later or eat all week. 

 Easy Omelette Cups

 These are fantastic for breakfast on the go, I made them for Taylor this week and they are a definite do over. 

Easy Omelette Cups:

8 eggs

36 Tator tots

1/2cup shredded cheese

7 strips turkey bacon

1/2cup milk

salt and pepper

any other veggies or meats you like in your omelettes (peppers, onion, ham, sausage, mushroom etc)

Put cupcake liners in your muffin tin and put 3 tator tots in each one, cook for 10 minute at 400 degrees. Smash with a spoon or the bottom of a glass to make a "crust". Cook another 5 minutes. 

While that's cookin, whip eggs with milk and any omelette "toppings" you like. I cooked my turkey bacon before hand so it would be crispy inside (cook any meats you want first bc they don't cook long enough in the cup). Pour egg/topping mixture into the cupcake liners on top of the hashbrown crush and cook at 350 for 20 minutes until eggs are done. Sprinkle with cheese at the end, it will melt while they cool. Freeze or put them in ziplocks for later in the week. (3ww pts each)

Here's a few tips that have made our life easier with cooking healthy. This has been alot of work for me to think up or find recipes that are healthy and weight watcher friendly each week, make a list of everything I need and don't forget an item, grocery shop with the nugget, organize it all and then cook it each night. I really really really hope I can continue to do this when I go back to work because it's making a huge difference in our life and health but man it's more work than I ever thought. Now I know why we just said "screw it let's go out to eat tonight" and why we both gained a ton of weight since we got married. Ugh. 

#1- CITY MARKET! Again this is one I am worried we won't be able to do each week with my work schedule because it's far from our house and kind of a production. Obviously when the summer is over and things are not in season anymore I will have a melt down. The city market is fresh, you support your local farmers which I absolutely love! Nothing gives me more joy buying food than to give the money to a child who has worked hard to help their parents make a good life for their children with a good work ethic. Alot of it is organic (I don't go out of my way to eat organic yet but if it's available and a reasonable price I will buy it fo sho!) and it's freakin cheap! I can get sooooo much stuff for sooo cheap. This whole drawer was $13. It has a bag full of carrots, a zucchini, 3 cucumbers, a bag of radishes, a bag of fresh spinach, a red bell pepper, an onion and a huge bag of asparagus. Whoa!  

This is a different week we went. All of this cost $11. Pineapple, strawberries, green beans, asparagus, radishes, carrots, potatoes and avacados. Amazing!

#2- Have a meal cook day. Sundays are my meal cook days. I cook things that we will need all week like breakfast bars, or breakfast for Taylor like these and the omelette cups above. This is 1 egg and 1 portion of lean sausage  in each for Taylor. One for each day of the work week to take ready to go. This is what is preventing him from stopping at mcdonalds each morning for a breakfast sandwich. He eats this with a cup of coffee at work. It's helping his waist line and our bank account hugely!

#3- Get yourself some cheap ziplock or gladwear tupperwear containers. ALOT of them. At any given time we have 10-15 of these in the fridge. I portion out meals for us both out of what I cook on sundays, that way Taylor can take breakfast like this without thinking twice at 6am when he leaves the house. Then I also pack up leftovers when I put food away at night into these in appropriate portions so we can take leftovers easily for work. This will help when I go back to work too. Our containers are all saved from when Taylor's parents did success meals (they deliver 5 of these containers to your house everyday with healthy breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack and dessert in them) 

Let me know if you have any questions on this stuff. 

The day of too many baths.

Being a new mom, I find it a daily challenge to decide when to shower. I need to get Henry calm, quiet and content long enough to put him down for me to take a shower. Home boy LOVES to be held and snuggled and we pretty much have done that all day long for the past 12 weeks because that is what maternity leave is for, no? He is a pretty laid back kid and he doesn't mind hanging out by himself on his playmat or in his swing(s) for short periods of time but, lately these times have gotten shorter because if he is not asleep, he gets bored just sitting there. So I shower before he really gets up for the day or when Taylor gets home from work after dinner so he can hang out with the child and I can relax. Nothing says  relax "hurry up mom" like watching my nugget yell his head off in his swing on the bathroom floor while I am trying to rinse spit up and god knows what else off of me. sigh

Today was an exception. I got up and showered before Henry really woke up for the day (he gets up early like 5-6am and eats and then goes right back to sleep until 9-10am. PTL) I left my hair wet because we planned on going to the pool today and I knew I was gonna get gross in the sun and covered in sunscreen anyway. So we went to the pool with my friend Josie and her beautiful little girl Clara. Josie and Clara live 3 blocks away and we are trying to take the kiddos on more walks and to the pool this summer so we can get some girl time and get out of the house. We have a subdivision pool that is free and has a great kids area that is only a few inches deep so that's where we went today. I got Henry all ready to go, fed, changed and dressed in his swim trunks and swim shirt. They slay me with how tiny they are!

(I'm loving the swim shirt idea because it's less skin I have to worry about protecting from the sun.)Then we loaded up into the stroller and walked to the pool. Sunnies on and all.

I knew the water would be cool because the pool just opened a month ago and we've had rain and such lately so I knew he wouldn't really get in. I obviously wouldn't either but, we did dip our feet in  which felt great for me, jury is out on how Henry felt. He slept in his stroller in the shade or on my chest facing away from the sun for all but 20 or so minutes we were there. And I got time with Josie and Clara. Win Win. I mean really, how cute is he? Check out his little belly sticking out. ha!

So we got home and Henry sat in his swing on his towel while I washed all the sunscreen off in the shower for my second "bath" of the day. I embrace my paste and choose not to get fried to a crisp like I used to. Skin cancer just isn't worth it to me anymore so SPF 45 and higher it is for me. Then Henry got a bath to wash the sunscreen that was on me, off of him and the pool water and such off his little feet. 

So where does Henry's second bath come in?

Right here. 

I thought he was being awefully good in his swing while we ate our dinner. He was working on something very important clearly. 

Sick!

So instead of worrying about making a bigger mess or getting my kid clean or rescuing my husband, my first thought was to grab the camera and crack up laughing as Taylor got covered. HA!

We literally just took his clothes and diaper off and held him under the warm water from our bathtub faucet and then put him in his tub and scrubbed him clean.

Thus.

2 baths for mommy and 2 baths for baby and probably 2 for daddy by the time the day is done. 

Oh parenthood is amusing. I love it. Really.

A Disclaimer

I don't usually write anything that is that negative on this blog. But this has been weighing on my mind alot lately and I just want to say a few words. Sorry if this isn't the cheeriest post.

I hear people make snide comments about bloggers alot. Especially mom's who blog. Especially lately. I'm not sure if my ears are more tuned in to these comments and I'm just more sensitive or what but it seems to be more and more of the "OMG how could she put that on the internet?" "Why does she want everyone to know her life" and my personal favorite "How does she have time to do that? Isn't she wasting time at the keyboard instead of with her family/kids" Or some variation of those comments. I'm a little bit "offended" and I'm also a little bit of "I don't care what you think". But let me just say this.

My stash of scrap and blog and photo books

I MAKE time to blog. I'll say it again, I MAKE time.
Yes, my life is busy, I cook a hot dinner for my family 4-5  nights/ week and get lunches and breakfast items available, I grocery shop, clean my house, pay our bills, run errands, take care of my husband and my baby and I work full time (as of this sunday when I go back to work). Just the like the majority of the rest of America. I worked full time at one job and usually 10-20 hrs/week at another job plus ran an etsy shop selling my art before I got pregnant. During my pregnancy I cut back to just 1 full time job which I am going back to full time as of Sunday. BOO!  I am doing etsy again and selling my work at 2 separate boutiques in this city now too and still managing to live my life and love my family. Why? Because I want to. And I like to. I'm far far far from perfect. I have many faults, we all do but I honestly THRIVE on chaos, I always have. I love when I am busy. I am not a sitter and not everyone is that way and that's okay. That is what makes life beautiful. Not everyone is the same and I love that about people.

 My two blog books so far. Henry's pregnancy blog is still being edited and then will be sent to print soon!! 

Taylor's ideal Saturday is made up of sleeping in, hot pancakes, occasionally mowing the lawn, taking a nap and doing nothing. He needs a break and gets overstimulated and he is good for me in that way. He balances me out and slows me down and makes me stop and smell the roses, which I need. But when he is at work I challenge myself to see how productive I can be. I LOVE check lists and to do lists because my feeling of accomplishment when I mark stuff off is hugely motivating and gratifying for me. I love knowing I can tackle several tasks and do it well. But I do all of this when he is gone.
His major thing in life (or his "love language" as they call it) is time with me and mine is the same with him. I only am the energizer bunny when he is at work. I work my full time job when he sleeps (3- 12hr shifts each week), my part time job I worked while he was at work during my days off  and I created and worked my etsy shop while he was at work as well. Thus the benefit of being a nurse and having that schedule. I worked extra hard for my family before we got pregnant so that when we had kids I could slow down and enjoy them. That is what I am doing now, because when Taylor is home I stop and enjoy life with him and relax, snuggle on the couch and watch Tv and chill, it's my down time. So how do I have time to blog with a new baby you ask? Well, that's easy...

 He naps. Alot. And he loves to snuggle. I sit and breath his sweet newborn smell in and hold him and play with him and while I do that I enjoy him to the fullest and pay him undivided attention. And when he sleeps, I write. It's therapeutic for me. I usually hold him on my chest and soak him in as he sinks like a heavy sack of flour into me with the laptop in my lap. Then I think of ideas for posts, organize and load current pictures and a multitude of other tasks like bill paying, browsing pinterest and facebook etc. When he sleeps I work, I work on our house, our meals, our finances, our memories. And because memories are so important for me, I MAKE time to blog and put them down. I know I have a followers now and that is fantastic, I love sharing our story and I hope that every now and then I write a post that can help someone else in some way. But really it's more important that our memories and life events and pictures get put somewhere so that we can cherish them forever. I print my blog into a hard bound book each year and put it on our shelf with my scrapbooks and photo albums. Taylor knows if the house catches fire, grab the books first. Those can't be replaced, the rest of our stuff can. It's just stuff, but those, those are the stories of our life. The best stories there can be, because they are ours. Those stories will hopefully be read to our kids and grandkids and their grandkids. They can look at funny pictures of us and read about the things that happened, good, bad and ugly. They can see vacation pictures and hear how badly we wanted children and how hard we fought to get them and they can see how many times mommy made daddy do a pinterest craft for our house and they can have my recipes to pass down. So that is what matters and that is why I make time out of my life to sit for an hour or two every now and then and get it done.
Noone judges women or moms when they like to scrapbook (I used to do that, but blogging is cheaper and quicker) or when they take and print photos of their family and put them into photo albums (this is the same, just with stories included).

 The post when we adopted Cora. 

So don't judge the blogging women and especially blogging moms of the world. They cut out time of their busy day (when their husband is in the backyard playing with the kids or they are at work and school or at friends houses or when everyone else in the house is asleep) to keep their memories too. If you find something important you find a time to get it done. For me, this is a must do, so if you don't agree just don't tell me, mmmk?

The end of our blog book for 2012

  A recipe and a day we spent fishing. 

A day at the Zoo with my mom and sister. 

Here are some scrapbook pages that I have done in the past (I have a book for me through college and a book of just me and Taylor through our wedding) Then I fell behind and started blogging instead because it's faster and cheaper.

  Pool pictures from when I was growing up. 

 My senior prom.

The first Royal's game Taylor and I went to. I even saved my ticket.

The story of what we did on our first date. 

 The first time Taylor took me to Oklahoma where he grew up. 

 Taking Taylor to the Omaha Zoo.

When Taylor proposed. 

WOO WOO! It's a celebration.

It's June!!!

And June means it's my birthday month! Hurray! It's Taylor's too, but mostly mine. Why you ask? Because Taylor likes to be recognized on his actual birthday with a delicious meal and a treat and he's done. He doesn't really care about gifts, never asks for anything, doesn't really care to do much out of the ordinary, I mean, the dude is a creature of habit which makes my heart happy because we all know I hate being thrown a curveball in life. He is predictable and that is a control freak's dream. See why I married him?
But, Me? I drag my birthday out the entire week, sometimes more! Woo woo! I love my birthday and I know that sounds so snotty and selfish and spoiled but It's not about me me me. I don't care if I get a darned thing for a gift (although it's fun, duh) or that I turn a year older (okay I care a little bit that I get older now that I'm over 25 but whatevs) I care about having a good excuse for a little cele-bra-cion if ya know what I mean?
One of the few benefits of having a "blended family" (picture me making quotes with my fingers and rolling my eyes) I hate that term, but anyway, a perk of that is getting to celebrate your birthday ALOT! We used to celebrate at each house (mom's and dad's) and at grandparents houses too and usually had a birthday party with my friends. Those all had to be on separate days so that makes for at least 5 days of birthday hoopla. Now we all know I love a good holiday (I was ashamed of myself this year for not going all out for New year's, Valentine's day, St. Pats, Easter or Cinco de Mayo like normal because I was hugely pregnant/ new mother and hugely uncomfortable/exhausted, but normally I go all out for stuff. We are talking decorations and festive food to match and even clothing, painted nails you name it. I LOVE IT!
So my birthday provides all of that. I get to decorate the house with streamers and balloons (And pretend they are for Taylor's birthday which is 12 days later) and make a cake or treat for myself him and go shopping for myself him and celebrate with our families. When I was little it was the same, my parents (at both houses, god bless them) decorated for our birthdays, made cakes, gave gifts, served our favorite meals all day, even threw birthday parties with friends (sometimes I got two, one at each house!). Spoiled brat I know. It really boiled down to the fact that I lived with my mom and stepdad the majority of the time and so that was all the norm over there because my mom is obsessed with holidays and traditions too. And my stepmom always tried to one-up my mom and so I got it all over there too. I was conditioned at an early age to drag out the partyin and live it up for the week of my birthday and I'm cool with it. So now, I just do it for myself on my birthday (my mom still does it too) and everyone elses! I already have my stepdad's birthday cake planned out this year and his isn't until the end of July.  I could care less if anyone comes to my house or sees the decorations or even touches or sees the cake, it's fun to do and even more fun for me to sit and have a glass of wine and enjoy some color and festivity in my life and thank God I'm alive and healthy another year. P.S Taylor is in big financial trouble when Henry's 1st birthday comes around.....momma is gonna make it a BLOW. OUT! Because life is worth celebrating. It's not all fun and games, sometimes life gets hard. Really hard. I actually forgot about my 18th birthday because I was going through some hard times and my dad was really sick. So when you have the opportunity to celebrate the good part, why not do it. As Leann Womack says "when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance". That's pretty much how I feel about birthdays. Live it up, enjoy being alive for one day.

I don't think there is anything wrong in celebrating life or holidays even if it's my own. I loved that my parents let me pick a party theme each year and decorated for it and made cute cupcakes and goody bags and such. It made childhood magical and fun. It made me feel so special and looking back now, so incredibly loved. I want Taylor and Henry to feel that way too, special and loved and not just on their birthday, everyday! I try to go out of my way every now and then to do fun little surprises for Taylor and he is the same. It's what keeps our life interesting and enjoyable and reminds those around you how much you appreciate them. Just knowing Taylor thinks enough about me to  clean my car for me or offer to give me a foot massage makes me feel special to him. It's also why I pack his breakfast and lunches for him now and why I can't wait for Henry to start eating solid foods. I've been dreaming of the day that I could make my kids green pancakes with whipped cream and lucky charms marshmallows on top for breakfast on St. Patrick's day and light a sparkler sticking out of their waffle covered in strawberries and bluberries for the 4th of july. Little things, to let them know I love them and I'm thinking of them. I want to make Henry's childhood special and fun and start traditions that he can carry on for his kids too. I can't even begin to describe the smile on my face when I think about covering our fireplace screen with fake spiderwebs and plastic spiders for hallowen when I was little or how much fun it was to open the box of Christmas decorations each year with Alabama's Christmas album playin on casette tape and start decking the halls. That stuff is important to me, its priceless and I love my parents for instilling that in me. So I will wait patiently until Henry can eat real food and appreciate the ridiculousness his mother has in store for him around each holiday but I have made a promise to myself that each day I will tell him I love him and show him even more. The little things are what makes life worth living for me and the birthdays are the cherry on top.

Tips from a new mom....about pregnancy and labor/delivery. Volume 1

We all know I'm a new mom and I certainly don't have this whole motherhood and babyhood thing figured out but I have developed a few words of wisdom for my new momma friends of things I have learned or have been told that I want to pass along. I loved reading people's advice blogs for new moms when I was pregnant and so here is my own version.

Pregnancy-

• Take weekly bump pictures starting at the beginning even when you feel gross and your hair is a mess and you are in day old sweats and might throw up or fall asleep at any second. A few of my pics took 10 attempts because I looked disgusting but they are so fun to look back on and I love that I can see how huge I really got. While I was uncomfortable at the end, I had no idea how big I really got. I felt like I looked alot smaller than I looked in pictures from that time. WHOA. 
  
• Also journal a little blurb each week to go with your picture even if it's just "we got the crib this week" or "we had our baby shower this week" so you remember what you did during your pregnancy. It's fun. Mother's are the memory keepers as I always say. 
• Sleep ALOT, especially if it's your first baby, you are growing a human with your body and the little parasite (because that is essentially what they are) steals your energy and you need it back. 
• Ask your momma friends what their favorite baby products are and which ones they hate. Everyone has a list and you can get a great place to start with your registry from there. 
• Stay off the babycenter.com, bump.com etc message boards. The women that post answers to the questions other women ask are not medically trained and I laugh at how wildly inaccurate their "information and medical advice" is. Plus you start to compare yourself and freak yourself out. Oh she felt baby move at 14 weeks?! What the hell?! I'm 17 weeks and haven't felt a thing, is my baby ok? What is wrong? BLAH WAAAAAA (Crying ensues). This was a personal experience of mine. Ugh
• Make a list of your questions for your doctor for each appointment. I always forgot to ask what I wanted to know. And no question is too stupid. They are there for you!
• Have your nursery painted and mostly done by 30 weeks, that is when you start to feel like crap again, your second trimester energy plummets, you start crying for no reason, your swollen and feel massive and the last thing you want to do is stress about a nursery being done. Just the big things like paint and furniture if nothing else. 
• Buy a cute maternity outfit for the hospital. Spend the money on a cute pair of PJ pants, Nursing tank top and matching robe. You want to at least have comfy clothing on and not a scratchy hospital gown for the day after you deliver. There will be tons of pictures of you and the babe and lots of visitors. Plus it's nice to have a nursing tank top on that keeps your tummy covered (your day 1 postpartum tummy is not something you'll be proud of, you will still be second trimester doughy and maybe stretch markish- mine didn't show up until AFTER I delivered), then you still have access to the girls without being completely naked from the waist up and all your clothing items stay in place when fumbling that floppy baby around trying to get it to eat to save it's own life. 
  
• Spend the money to fill a gallon ziplock bag with the travel size toiletries you normally use. It was refreshing to use my normal shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant and face wash while I was away from home. I also packed a new loofa instead of a ridiculous old washrag they give you in the hospital. I felt clean! (I made a pack for Taylor too). 
  
• Don't pack underwear for the hospital. I went out and bought like 6 pairs of super stretchy black boyshorts so I would be comfortable in the hospital dealing with the horrid aftermath of having a baby and so I could throw them away if they got ruined. I didn't touch them, those mesh underwear they give you are suprisingly comfortable, I wanted to take a whole box of them home! And if they get ruined you can just throw them away. ( I did use the black ones I bought for the first few weeks at home though and they were a god send) 
• Stock up on nursing tank tops that are comfortable. You will get milk and spit up on all of them quickly and change a few times/day. 
• Stock up on your life essentials. This was a genius plan a friend told me to do. Go to Sam's or Costco (find a friend with a membership if you don't have one) I have a Sam's card if anyone needs a trip with me just FYI. And go and spend $300 to stock up on all your crap for 3 months. We are talking toilet paper, paper towel, paper plates, frozen or non-perishable food, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, tooth paste, medicine, diapers, wipes, deodorant, feminine products etc so that you never have to make a late night run to walmart with a new baby screaming for some tylenol or toilet paper. I wanted to get out of the house early bc I felt more human but if you don't you will be prepared and it will help tremendously  in terms of finances when you are getting paid less or not at all on maternity leave. 
• Stock up on diapers over time. They use ALOT of them, buy a case each paycheck if you can. It spreads out the cost over time and you will be ready. Put them in your garage, basement or baby's closet. But only buy 1-2 cases on newborn size, they don't stay in them for long. Size 1 they wear forever and anything you don't open can be taken back and swapped out for the next size up at almost any store. 
• Buy baby crap off your friends who are done having kids. I got my $170 bassinet for $15, my $40 bouncy seat I keep in my bathroom for $10, a floor swing, tons of burp rags, blankets, a bath seat, a milk bag storage container for the freezer and some milk saver bags all for $25 and my $45 bumbo seat for $10. My changing table was $2 and my $80 play mat was $15. I love a good deal and mommas who want to get rid of their baby crap love helping their friends out for some easy cash. I also got an extra pack n' play to keep at my parents/ in-laws for $20.
  
• If you can, watch for black friday and after christmas sales! I got alot of our stuff alot cheaper then. 
• Pregnancy is not an excuse to eat whatever you want and gain 100lbs. Unless you want to deal with it afterward of course. If you are me and you can't keep food or water down during the start of your pregnancy even on 2 different drugs then by all means, eat whatever you can keep down. Somedays Taylor would shove chocolate ice cream down my throat just for calories if that is what worked. But speaking from someone who has ALWAYS had trouble keeping my weight down and losing it, I didn't want to go overboard once I stopped getting sick at 20 weeks. I ate when I was hungry and small healthier snacks in between. Don't get me wrong I answered cravings and ate things I wanted to but I still didn't go overboard. I wasn't dieting but I wasn't binge eating either, just eating normally and only gained 28 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Lucky for me, it was gone 7 days after I had the nugget. Now I wasn't happy with my weight before I got pregnant so I am still busting my butt to lose more but you will kick yourself if you gain a ton just because you literally went crazy with the cheese whiz.
• and as always, Drink your ovaltine Take your prenatal vitamins, duh.

Labor and Delivery (and in the hospital)-

• Bring your own pillow(s) and don't be afraid to ask for a few of them in the hospital.  I started labor with my one pillow from home and the one on my hospital bed when I came in. Trying to get comfortable with those two pillows while laboring was a joke. At home I slept with a body pillow in between my knees (that I was too embarrassed to drag into the hospital with me), 2 pillows under my head, either Taylor or a pillow behind me to lean against and one to hold with arms while I was pregnant. Thinking I would be comfortable with only 2 during actual labor was laughable, my nurse could tell and brought me 3 more pillows and I actually could rest and get comfortable. I took those pillows from Labor and Delivery to Mother/ Baby and used them to prop myself up and baby up for breastfeeding. 
• Research some pain relief techniques for labor. I thought "eh I'm tough and have a high pain tolerance, when it gets bad I will just ask for my epidural and whalla all will be well." WRONG!! Oh god, so wrong. I remember the contractions being manageable until Henry was trying to rotate his head and body to drop down into my pelvis (he was facing left instead of back to my spine like he needed to be). Then when he started to turn I got back labor and that is a biotch! I remember laying in bed writhing around frantically googling and searching pinterest for "natural ways to reduce pain during labor" in between contractions. Breathing techniques, positions, pressure points etc, I needed anything to try. I knew I wasn't far enough to get an epidural yet and I was hurtin. Taylor woke up to me at 4:30am on all fours in the bed  in the dark with my head down, white knuckle grip on my phone makeing SSSsssss sounds (a trick I found while googling) through contractions looking for other ways to help myself. I wish someone had a camera for america's funniest home videos. So my next point, take a guess....
• Yep! Get an epidural! There are no trophy's given out in the labor and delivery unit for not having one. (my L&D nurse told me that when she was talking me into getting one sooner than I thought I should. ha!) All you get is bragging rights. You might feel like a billy badass being able to say you did it without, but let me promise you, it gets tough without one. I'm not one to try and see how tough I am and how much pain I can take, that's just sick and twisted. They came up with them for a reason and trust me you will be a brand new girl once you get it. I honestly was struggling to talk, breathe, think when my contractions got bad and once I got my epidural I could sleep and rest while my body relaxed enough to dilate. I wasn't making much progress even with strong beautiful every 2 minute contractions for a solid 8 hours and I think it was because I tensed up when they came and wouldn't let me myself relax into the pain to dilate. Once I had my epidural I went from 2.5cm to complete in 2 hours and I was asleep the whole time. ha! Take that labor, I will punch you in the face (or my anesthesiologist will at least). I also couldn't feel jack while I was pushing either and that was FINE by me, I pushed as hard as humanly possible and the kid was out in 18 minutes with 5 contractions. I'd say it turned out juuuuust fine. 

• TAKE PICTURES! No, I'm not talking about graphic baby birthing nudity, just the fun details. I think it's awesome to see pics of the room number, clock, inside your labor room, you and your husband, your nurses, doctor, the anesthesiologist that you want to kiss a million times, all the details so you can remember it all. It was a blur and I wanted so badly to remember every second but drugs, pain, baby, visitors and exhaustion quickly have you forget it all.  I love looking back at them all, seeing the big crocodile tear on my cheek while holding Henry the first time, our nurse's aid holding the scissors to cut the cord with while making a huge cheesy grin, the white board with my night nurse's name, me in my gown and big belly for the last time, Taylor looking super uncomfortable in his sleeper chair, a picture of me punching him in the face for whining about said uncomfortable chair while I was giving birth to a bowling ball. (just kidding that didn't happen but he did whine about it briefly before I shot lazer beams out of my eyes into his soul and he quickly appologized). 
  
  
  
  

• You will sweat like a whore in church. Not kidding, my labor room was freezing which was fantastic for me (not so safe for baby but I didn't notice until after he was born how cold it was in there because, well I was busy.) But normally labor rooms are kept warm to keep your baby safe and healthy and you are running an emotional and physical marathon trying to birth a human so sweating is just the way it is. Also your hormones kick in after you deliver and try to flush all that fluid off your system you have picked up during the last few weeks of your pregnancy and that they have pumped into you during labor/delivery. I woke up soaking wet a few times..... DISGUSTING. 
• Do NOT look down there afterwards. Some women grab a mirror and want to see, DON'T. What little I could see down even without a mirror and definitely without trying to look there was horrible, oh god, so bad. Just swollen and ridiculous, save yourself the trouble and the lifetime of traumatic flashbacks. No really, I'm serious. This is not a bad car accident that you can't peel your eyes away from, it's worse, so stop it. It's not worth wondering about, get over it. Some things in life don't need to be seen. End of story. Seriously, stop wondering, just stop it.
• On that note, tell your husband not to look if you don't want him to see the gore. The baby is the fun part, not the part before the baby.  Nothing is helped by him looking, it's not beautiful. It's gross and scary. Truly jaw dropping amazing that it can happen but still gross and scary. A friend of mine said her husband told her "it's like watching a bulldozer going through your favorite playground"  Which is horribly raunchy and unnecessary but hilarious and true. Just have him look at you and how much you are glowing with the sweat of labor  with motherhood or the people in the room or barefoot contessa cooking some orange cake with the butter made from swedish milk girls tears like mine was, but it's ok not to look and it's even more okay not to cut the cord. It's not a right of passage, you don't get a prize, a gold medal, a bouquet of flowers and a check the size of your baby for $100,000 for that either. It's gross and weird and there are plenty of medical people there to do it for you. Especially if you are queasy. Just enjoy the cuteness of the nugget and not the gross. Seriously, it's ok. (on that note, I cut the cord because they handed Taylor the scissors, he told them NO for the 100th time and I just grabbed them bc I wanted that nugget. BRRRRRING HIM TO ME!!) And by all means, if you want to cut it, do it! Moms too, or cut it together if you want. Whatevs.
  
  
  
  
• USE EVERYTHING the hospital gives you and take the rest. The magic ice packs, the pads, the chux pads to go under you on the bed, the wash basin, the numbing spray, tucks pads, spray bottle for when you pee, baby diapers, bulb syringe, thermometer, baby bath stuff. All of it. And take what you don't use, they can't reuse it for another patient anyway and it will get thrown away. You on the other hand will find all of it handy at home too. After all, you paid for it. These items could be considered the trophy I told you a bajillion times that you don't get. Free crap! Who doesn't love free crap? 
• Stay on top of your pain meds even if you think you don't need them. Again, noone gets a trophy for giving birth (unless you count your screaming hungry babe as a trophy, I did) but if you stay on top of your pain meds every time you can get them, do it. They are safe for baby through breastmilk and you will feel so much better and able to take care of your new nugget. The sleeplessness and stress of trying to feed that screaming nugget and change diapers and going pee for the first time after and such will be enough fun let alone not being able to move on top of it. 
• Shower!! Put on your flip flops, pass that baby to daddy or send him to the nursery and TAKE A SHOWER. You are sweaty as mentioned before, and gross and you feel nasty and if you are like me, ended up covered in milk and since they threw my baby up on my chest like I wanted (to keep him warm and help him transition) I had baby goo on me too. SICK! So incredibly sick! I couldn't wait to shower and I took a looooong hot one each day to relax and feel better. Plus I put on some makeup and did my hair because when you look good, you feel good. And you know that's true. 
  
• Let the nurses take that baby to the nursery for a few hours so you can sleep. You will want to stare at that nugget 24/7 and make sure it's still breathing and such. If you are lucky it will sleep and not scream non-stop like mine but either way, the nursery nurses love to snuggle babies (it's why they have this job, trust me I know from experience) and if you can get 3 hours of uninterrupted or mostly uninterrupted sleep then you will feel soooo much better. The only time I slept more than 1 hour the entire 4 days in the hospital was the 2 hours after I got my epidural and the 3 hours I sent him to the nursery. I was literally awake or trying to sleep the rest of the time.
• If you want a pacifier, ask for one or bring one of your own. Henry fussed to eat non-stop the first few days and he would nurse literally 24 hours each day if I let him, but that leads to horribly painful sore nipples and then you can't nurse anymore without crying. Which I know from first hand experience. I finally demanded a pacifier and they finally gave in. I was using my pink finger in his mouth for awhile and just felt like that was a dirty option even when I washed my hands. I will tell you from working in the NICU I don't believe in nipple confusion, I believe in flow confusion (the speed and ease at which milk flows from a bottle vs the breast, babies are lazy and they won't work hard to breastfeed if they know they can wait and easily get it from a bottle dripping milk into their mouth instead). We have NICU babes that have a pacifier for months before they ever get the chance to nurse at the breast and still do just fine. But a pacifier will help you and baby rest a little and both be happy. Be careful that you watch your baby closely for when he is actually hungry and feed him on demand to help you milk come in. This part is crucial. 
• Ask for an extra set of footprints, just in case. 
• Stay as long as they let you, if you want. I had friends go home after 24 hours because they wanted to be in their own house and that's great. Me, I wanted to stay a little longer. Henry had issues with his kidneys that needed follow up, needed a circumcision, and we had trouble at first with breastfeeding. If you need help with anything, stay and ask for it. Ask your nurse to show you how to give baby a bath or how to do basic newborn care or swaddle or work on breastfeeding. They are there for that reason, use them and don't be afraid to stay or feel pressured to go home. Wait until you feel comfortable, nooone is judging you. New motherhood is hard, you have to take care of yourself and baby now and you are both a hot mess to start. Plus, it's easy to have lots of visitors there and get it out of everyone's system to see the baby (and whoops the nurse has come in, sorry everyone has to go now). It keeps visits shorter than 4 hour sessions on your couch once your home hogging your time from others or from your bed when all you want to do is sleep or nurse without being covered up.
• That's another good point. Don't be afraid to tell everyone you need a nap, need to nurse uninterrupted, need to shower or eat. People become selfish baby wolves when they want to see a new nugget. But you're the mommy and you need to take care of yourself and your baby, not please everyone under the sun. So tell them no more visitors after 8pm (we did that) and tell them they can't come for another hour so you can feed the babe in peace.
• Don't bother bringing any baby clothes except the going home outfit and some cute hats, the t-shirt the baby wears in the hospital is easy for diaper changes and doing skin-to-skin care. Plus that baby will be swaddled up the whole time and you won't see any clothing but a hat. 
  
• Bring a few pairs of scratch mittens, my kid looked like he got thrown into a sack full of angry hungry kittens by the time we went home and I even brought scratch mittens and kept his hands swaddled down. The 2.5 seconds I spent changing his clothing or diaper, doing kangaroo care or feeding him he ripped his face to shreds. Also bring baby nail files, cutting fingernails that are 4 atoms thick is danderous and scary, file away!
• The going home outfit is pretty pointless, you put it on the baby, take a picture and put the baby directly in the carseat to go home, usually covered up by a blanket. But that being said go buy the most ridiculous expensive outfit you want because you'll have  just had a baby and you can do whatever the hell you want. 
  

You will survive and you will get the hang of all of this but some tips and tricks might help along the way until you find your own rhythm. f mine don't work for you, keep reading and searching other mom's blogs and pinterest to find more! Everyone has their own opinions.  I will do another post later on this about life when you get home from the hospital and the first few weeks. :)