Tips from a new mom....about pregnancy and labor/delivery. Volume 1

We all know I'm a new mom and I certainly don't have this whole motherhood and babyhood thing figured out but I have developed a few words of wisdom for my new momma friends of things I have learned or have been told that I want to pass along. I loved reading people's advice blogs for new moms when I was pregnant and so here is my own version.

Pregnancy-

• Take weekly bump pictures starting at the beginning even when you feel gross and your hair is a mess and you are in day old sweats and might throw up or fall asleep at any second. A few of my pics took 10 attempts because I looked disgusting but they are so fun to look back on and I love that I can see how huge I really got. While I was uncomfortable at the end, I had no idea how big I really got. I felt like I looked alot smaller than I looked in pictures from that time. WHOA. 
  
• Also journal a little blurb each week to go with your picture even if it's just "we got the crib this week" or "we had our baby shower this week" so you remember what you did during your pregnancy. It's fun. Mother's are the memory keepers as I always say. 
• Sleep ALOT, especially if it's your first baby, you are growing a human with your body and the little parasite (because that is essentially what they are) steals your energy and you need it back. 
• Ask your momma friends what their favorite baby products are and which ones they hate. Everyone has a list and you can get a great place to start with your registry from there. 
• Stay off the babycenter.com, bump.com etc message boards. The women that post answers to the questions other women ask are not medically trained and I laugh at how wildly inaccurate their "information and medical advice" is. Plus you start to compare yourself and freak yourself out. Oh she felt baby move at 14 weeks?! What the hell?! I'm 17 weeks and haven't felt a thing, is my baby ok? What is wrong? BLAH WAAAAAA (Crying ensues). This was a personal experience of mine. Ugh
• Make a list of your questions for your doctor for each appointment. I always forgot to ask what I wanted to know. And no question is too stupid. They are there for you!
• Have your nursery painted and mostly done by 30 weeks, that is when you start to feel like crap again, your second trimester energy plummets, you start crying for no reason, your swollen and feel massive and the last thing you want to do is stress about a nursery being done. Just the big things like paint and furniture if nothing else. 
• Buy a cute maternity outfit for the hospital. Spend the money on a cute pair of PJ pants, Nursing tank top and matching robe. You want to at least have comfy clothing on and not a scratchy hospital gown for the day after you deliver. There will be tons of pictures of you and the babe and lots of visitors. Plus it's nice to have a nursing tank top on that keeps your tummy covered (your day 1 postpartum tummy is not something you'll be proud of, you will still be second trimester doughy and maybe stretch markish- mine didn't show up until AFTER I delivered), then you still have access to the girls without being completely naked from the waist up and all your clothing items stay in place when fumbling that floppy baby around trying to get it to eat to save it's own life. 
  
• Spend the money to fill a gallon ziplock bag with the travel size toiletries you normally use. It was refreshing to use my normal shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant and face wash while I was away from home. I also packed a new loofa instead of a ridiculous old washrag they give you in the hospital. I felt clean! (I made a pack for Taylor too). 
  
• Don't pack underwear for the hospital. I went out and bought like 6 pairs of super stretchy black boyshorts so I would be comfortable in the hospital dealing with the horrid aftermath of having a baby and so I could throw them away if they got ruined. I didn't touch them, those mesh underwear they give you are suprisingly comfortable, I wanted to take a whole box of them home! And if they get ruined you can just throw them away. ( I did use the black ones I bought for the first few weeks at home though and they were a god send) 
• Stock up on nursing tank tops that are comfortable. You will get milk and spit up on all of them quickly and change a few times/day. 
• Stock up on your life essentials. This was a genius plan a friend told me to do. Go to Sam's or Costco (find a friend with a membership if you don't have one) I have a Sam's card if anyone needs a trip with me just FYI. And go and spend $300 to stock up on all your crap for 3 months. We are talking toilet paper, paper towel, paper plates, frozen or non-perishable food, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, tooth paste, medicine, diapers, wipes, deodorant, feminine products etc so that you never have to make a late night run to walmart with a new baby screaming for some tylenol or toilet paper. I wanted to get out of the house early bc I felt more human but if you don't you will be prepared and it will help tremendously  in terms of finances when you are getting paid less or not at all on maternity leave. 
• Stock up on diapers over time. They use ALOT of them, buy a case each paycheck if you can. It spreads out the cost over time and you will be ready. Put them in your garage, basement or baby's closet. But only buy 1-2 cases on newborn size, they don't stay in them for long. Size 1 they wear forever and anything you don't open can be taken back and swapped out for the next size up at almost any store. 
• Buy baby crap off your friends who are done having kids. I got my $170 bassinet for $15, my $40 bouncy seat I keep in my bathroom for $10, a floor swing, tons of burp rags, blankets, a bath seat, a milk bag storage container for the freezer and some milk saver bags all for $25 and my $45 bumbo seat for $10. My changing table was $2 and my $80 play mat was $15. I love a good deal and mommas who want to get rid of their baby crap love helping their friends out for some easy cash. I also got an extra pack n' play to keep at my parents/ in-laws for $20.
  
• If you can, watch for black friday and after christmas sales! I got alot of our stuff alot cheaper then. 
• Pregnancy is not an excuse to eat whatever you want and gain 100lbs. Unless you want to deal with it afterward of course. If you are me and you can't keep food or water down during the start of your pregnancy even on 2 different drugs then by all means, eat whatever you can keep down. Somedays Taylor would shove chocolate ice cream down my throat just for calories if that is what worked. But speaking from someone who has ALWAYS had trouble keeping my weight down and losing it, I didn't want to go overboard once I stopped getting sick at 20 weeks. I ate when I was hungry and small healthier snacks in between. Don't get me wrong I answered cravings and ate things I wanted to but I still didn't go overboard. I wasn't dieting but I wasn't binge eating either, just eating normally and only gained 28 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Lucky for me, it was gone 7 days after I had the nugget. Now I wasn't happy with my weight before I got pregnant so I am still busting my butt to lose more but you will kick yourself if you gain a ton just because you literally went crazy with the cheese whiz.
• and as always, Drink your ovaltine Take your prenatal vitamins, duh.

Labor and Delivery (and in the hospital)-

• Bring your own pillow(s) and don't be afraid to ask for a few of them in the hospital.  I started labor with my one pillow from home and the one on my hospital bed when I came in. Trying to get comfortable with those two pillows while laboring was a joke. At home I slept with a body pillow in between my knees (that I was too embarrassed to drag into the hospital with me), 2 pillows under my head, either Taylor or a pillow behind me to lean against and one to hold with arms while I was pregnant. Thinking I would be comfortable with only 2 during actual labor was laughable, my nurse could tell and brought me 3 more pillows and I actually could rest and get comfortable. I took those pillows from Labor and Delivery to Mother/ Baby and used them to prop myself up and baby up for breastfeeding. 
• Research some pain relief techniques for labor. I thought "eh I'm tough and have a high pain tolerance, when it gets bad I will just ask for my epidural and whalla all will be well." WRONG!! Oh god, so wrong. I remember the contractions being manageable until Henry was trying to rotate his head and body to drop down into my pelvis (he was facing left instead of back to my spine like he needed to be). Then when he started to turn I got back labor and that is a biotch! I remember laying in bed writhing around frantically googling and searching pinterest for "natural ways to reduce pain during labor" in between contractions. Breathing techniques, positions, pressure points etc, I needed anything to try. I knew I wasn't far enough to get an epidural yet and I was hurtin. Taylor woke up to me at 4:30am on all fours in the bed  in the dark with my head down, white knuckle grip on my phone makeing SSSsssss sounds (a trick I found while googling) through contractions looking for other ways to help myself. I wish someone had a camera for america's funniest home videos. So my next point, take a guess....
• Yep! Get an epidural! There are no trophy's given out in the labor and delivery unit for not having one. (my L&D nurse told me that when she was talking me into getting one sooner than I thought I should. ha!) All you get is bragging rights. You might feel like a billy badass being able to say you did it without, but let me promise you, it gets tough without one. I'm not one to try and see how tough I am and how much pain I can take, that's just sick and twisted. They came up with them for a reason and trust me you will be a brand new girl once you get it. I honestly was struggling to talk, breathe, think when my contractions got bad and once I got my epidural I could sleep and rest while my body relaxed enough to dilate. I wasn't making much progress even with strong beautiful every 2 minute contractions for a solid 8 hours and I think it was because I tensed up when they came and wouldn't let me myself relax into the pain to dilate. Once I had my epidural I went from 2.5cm to complete in 2 hours and I was asleep the whole time. ha! Take that labor, I will punch you in the face (or my anesthesiologist will at least). I also couldn't feel jack while I was pushing either and that was FINE by me, I pushed as hard as humanly possible and the kid was out in 18 minutes with 5 contractions. I'd say it turned out juuuuust fine. 

• TAKE PICTURES! No, I'm not talking about graphic baby birthing nudity, just the fun details. I think it's awesome to see pics of the room number, clock, inside your labor room, you and your husband, your nurses, doctor, the anesthesiologist that you want to kiss a million times, all the details so you can remember it all. It was a blur and I wanted so badly to remember every second but drugs, pain, baby, visitors and exhaustion quickly have you forget it all.  I love looking back at them all, seeing the big crocodile tear on my cheek while holding Henry the first time, our nurse's aid holding the scissors to cut the cord with while making a huge cheesy grin, the white board with my night nurse's name, me in my gown and big belly for the last time, Taylor looking super uncomfortable in his sleeper chair, a picture of me punching him in the face for whining about said uncomfortable chair while I was giving birth to a bowling ball. (just kidding that didn't happen but he did whine about it briefly before I shot lazer beams out of my eyes into his soul and he quickly appologized). 
  
  
  
  

• You will sweat like a whore in church. Not kidding, my labor room was freezing which was fantastic for me (not so safe for baby but I didn't notice until after he was born how cold it was in there because, well I was busy.) But normally labor rooms are kept warm to keep your baby safe and healthy and you are running an emotional and physical marathon trying to birth a human so sweating is just the way it is. Also your hormones kick in after you deliver and try to flush all that fluid off your system you have picked up during the last few weeks of your pregnancy and that they have pumped into you during labor/delivery. I woke up soaking wet a few times..... DISGUSTING. 
• Do NOT look down there afterwards. Some women grab a mirror and want to see, DON'T. What little I could see down even without a mirror and definitely without trying to look there was horrible, oh god, so bad. Just swollen and ridiculous, save yourself the trouble and the lifetime of traumatic flashbacks. No really, I'm serious. This is not a bad car accident that you can't peel your eyes away from, it's worse, so stop it. It's not worth wondering about, get over it. Some things in life don't need to be seen. End of story. Seriously, stop wondering, just stop it.
• On that note, tell your husband not to look if you don't want him to see the gore. The baby is the fun part, not the part before the baby.  Nothing is helped by him looking, it's not beautiful. It's gross and scary. Truly jaw dropping amazing that it can happen but still gross and scary. A friend of mine said her husband told her "it's like watching a bulldozer going through your favorite playground"  Which is horribly raunchy and unnecessary but hilarious and true. Just have him look at you and how much you are glowing with the sweat of labor  with motherhood or the people in the room or barefoot contessa cooking some orange cake with the butter made from swedish milk girls tears like mine was, but it's ok not to look and it's even more okay not to cut the cord. It's not a right of passage, you don't get a prize, a gold medal, a bouquet of flowers and a check the size of your baby for $100,000 for that either. It's gross and weird and there are plenty of medical people there to do it for you. Especially if you are queasy. Just enjoy the cuteness of the nugget and not the gross. Seriously, it's ok. (on that note, I cut the cord because they handed Taylor the scissors, he told them NO for the 100th time and I just grabbed them bc I wanted that nugget. BRRRRRING HIM TO ME!!) And by all means, if you want to cut it, do it! Moms too, or cut it together if you want. Whatevs.
  
  
  
  
• USE EVERYTHING the hospital gives you and take the rest. The magic ice packs, the pads, the chux pads to go under you on the bed, the wash basin, the numbing spray, tucks pads, spray bottle for when you pee, baby diapers, bulb syringe, thermometer, baby bath stuff. All of it. And take what you don't use, they can't reuse it for another patient anyway and it will get thrown away. You on the other hand will find all of it handy at home too. After all, you paid for it. These items could be considered the trophy I told you a bajillion times that you don't get. Free crap! Who doesn't love free crap? 
• Stay on top of your pain meds even if you think you don't need them. Again, noone gets a trophy for giving birth (unless you count your screaming hungry babe as a trophy, I did) but if you stay on top of your pain meds every time you can get them, do it. They are safe for baby through breastmilk and you will feel so much better and able to take care of your new nugget. The sleeplessness and stress of trying to feed that screaming nugget and change diapers and going pee for the first time after and such will be enough fun let alone not being able to move on top of it. 
• Shower!! Put on your flip flops, pass that baby to daddy or send him to the nursery and TAKE A SHOWER. You are sweaty as mentioned before, and gross and you feel nasty and if you are like me, ended up covered in milk and since they threw my baby up on my chest like I wanted (to keep him warm and help him transition) I had baby goo on me too. SICK! So incredibly sick! I couldn't wait to shower and I took a looooong hot one each day to relax and feel better. Plus I put on some makeup and did my hair because when you look good, you feel good. And you know that's true. 
  
• Let the nurses take that baby to the nursery for a few hours so you can sleep. You will want to stare at that nugget 24/7 and make sure it's still breathing and such. If you are lucky it will sleep and not scream non-stop like mine but either way, the nursery nurses love to snuggle babies (it's why they have this job, trust me I know from experience) and if you can get 3 hours of uninterrupted or mostly uninterrupted sleep then you will feel soooo much better. The only time I slept more than 1 hour the entire 4 days in the hospital was the 2 hours after I got my epidural and the 3 hours I sent him to the nursery. I was literally awake or trying to sleep the rest of the time.
• If you want a pacifier, ask for one or bring one of your own. Henry fussed to eat non-stop the first few days and he would nurse literally 24 hours each day if I let him, but that leads to horribly painful sore nipples and then you can't nurse anymore without crying. Which I know from first hand experience. I finally demanded a pacifier and they finally gave in. I was using my pink finger in his mouth for awhile and just felt like that was a dirty option even when I washed my hands. I will tell you from working in the NICU I don't believe in nipple confusion, I believe in flow confusion (the speed and ease at which milk flows from a bottle vs the breast, babies are lazy and they won't work hard to breastfeed if they know they can wait and easily get it from a bottle dripping milk into their mouth instead). We have NICU babes that have a pacifier for months before they ever get the chance to nurse at the breast and still do just fine. But a pacifier will help you and baby rest a little and both be happy. Be careful that you watch your baby closely for when he is actually hungry and feed him on demand to help you milk come in. This part is crucial. 
• Ask for an extra set of footprints, just in case. 
• Stay as long as they let you, if you want. I had friends go home after 24 hours because they wanted to be in their own house and that's great. Me, I wanted to stay a little longer. Henry had issues with his kidneys that needed follow up, needed a circumcision, and we had trouble at first with breastfeeding. If you need help with anything, stay and ask for it. Ask your nurse to show you how to give baby a bath or how to do basic newborn care or swaddle or work on breastfeeding. They are there for that reason, use them and don't be afraid to stay or feel pressured to go home. Wait until you feel comfortable, nooone is judging you. New motherhood is hard, you have to take care of yourself and baby now and you are both a hot mess to start. Plus, it's easy to have lots of visitors there and get it out of everyone's system to see the baby (and whoops the nurse has come in, sorry everyone has to go now). It keeps visits shorter than 4 hour sessions on your couch once your home hogging your time from others or from your bed when all you want to do is sleep or nurse without being covered up.
• That's another good point. Don't be afraid to tell everyone you need a nap, need to nurse uninterrupted, need to shower or eat. People become selfish baby wolves when they want to see a new nugget. But you're the mommy and you need to take care of yourself and your baby, not please everyone under the sun. So tell them no more visitors after 8pm (we did that) and tell them they can't come for another hour so you can feed the babe in peace.
• Don't bother bringing any baby clothes except the going home outfit and some cute hats, the t-shirt the baby wears in the hospital is easy for diaper changes and doing skin-to-skin care. Plus that baby will be swaddled up the whole time and you won't see any clothing but a hat. 
  
• Bring a few pairs of scratch mittens, my kid looked like he got thrown into a sack full of angry hungry kittens by the time we went home and I even brought scratch mittens and kept his hands swaddled down. The 2.5 seconds I spent changing his clothing or diaper, doing kangaroo care or feeding him he ripped his face to shreds. Also bring baby nail files, cutting fingernails that are 4 atoms thick is danderous and scary, file away!
• The going home outfit is pretty pointless, you put it on the baby, take a picture and put the baby directly in the carseat to go home, usually covered up by a blanket. But that being said go buy the most ridiculous expensive outfit you want because you'll have  just had a baby and you can do whatever the hell you want. 
  

You will survive and you will get the hang of all of this but some tips and tricks might help along the way until you find your own rhythm. f mine don't work for you, keep reading and searching other mom's blogs and pinterest to find more! Everyone has their own opinions.  I will do another post later on this about life when you get home from the hospital and the first few weeks. :)