So other than that I really want nothing for Christmas. As we get ready for thanksgiving I sit here and realize that I really am so truley thankful to have a healthy family, a healthy baby in my belly, a beautiful home filled with beautiful things and people and plenty of food on the table and clothes on my back. I want for nothing. We are so abundantly blessed. This year Taylor and I have chosen to give each other a few practical things for our house like a deep freezer (to fit meals I make and breastmilk for Eleanor mainly) and maybe some wooden blinds for some of our windows. Because hey we have lived in our house for 3 years now and still have curtains or sheers on every room. Blinds are expensive and I don't want to buy cheap ones and have to replace them later. I'd rather my family have other things and the sheers and curtains have been just fine. Other than that I want to spend my money and time on the people I love and also the people I have never met. Not just around the holidays, but to be better about it overall. Being generous because I am thankful for what I have. Doing things like secret santa, filling up several bags of things to donate to less fortunate people, paying for the person's meal or drink or whatever behind me in line. Being generous and courteous, because I can and because I should. I want Henry to learn that from me too, not just how to speak, but how to behave and how to live. I want my family to have nice things and let's be honest Henry (and Eleanor) are getting spoiled for christmas. But Henry is getting a lot of educational stuff and Eleanor is getting a lot of stuff she needs, like warm clothing and diapers and blankets to stay warm. Practical stuff and a few fun things too. Henry is also going to start being exposed to the spirit of Christmas and giving especially since he is a little older now and might actually understand a little bit better this year. We are working on him saying "Thank you" not just with the "momma" part tacked on the end. And also "please". Manners in a world starting to be filled without them. Ways to show he is thankful for what he has too, from a new sippy cup of milk out of the fridge to a gift at christmas. We will be choosing a child off the angel tree like we have done several years in the past and giving them what we can for a good Christmas too. I want to teach him that Christmas isn't just about getting, but giving too. We have so much and others don't. He needs to be exposed to that and shown how to be a good person in the midst of this scary world. And giving his mother the gift of "momma" while we are it would be just fine with me. :) So I will keep practicing that with him and keep showing him how to be a loving generous person. Doing little things that mean a lot.
Little things like this one on my bucket list that I have always wanted to do but never could get the patience or courage to do it and it runs with my theme. Cut my hair and donate it. Seems like no big deal right? Well it is! I love my hair. It's natural blonde and strait and thin and all that jazz. I would be devastated to lose it for any reason. Being sick AND losing your hair is a double whammy especially for women and children. I just can't imagine. My hair isn't the best thing ever but I do love it. It also has been through 1.5 pregnancies and one post partum run and has fallen out and come back in again but I still feel fortunate to have it. I don't have a lot of it, but I wanted to give some anyway. It had gotten REALLY long. Like, to my true waist, long. It had embarassingly been about a year since I have had it cut. I didn't want to waste the time to have someone watch Henry to go get it done and I just didn't really think about it. But, I needed a change and a new look and I've wanted to donate it. I figured it wasn't long enough but through friends and some research found that I only needed 8" to be able to donate. That seemed like a lot but when I measured it I found that was about as much a I was willing to cut without it being too short. I figured if I was going to chop a bunch off I might as well chop a little bit more and give it to a child who needs a wig. Someone who doesn't have hair who would love to have it. So I did. I made an appointment and went and had it put in a ponytail and cut off. By the time I was done I would say about 10-11" cut and I feel like my hair looks a little healthier on me and that my hair may make some child somewhere feel a little better too. That's actually what sparked my need to give more, of myself and my time and not just my money and things. I'm working on all of that. It's my personal goal to be better as a person in general not just because I know my son is watching, though he is a great motivator.
I hope my kids grow up knowing how important it is to not only think of themselves or their immediate families, especially around the holidays. I think it's not just coincidence that we have thanksgiving first in the holiday line up to appreciate what we have, even if just for a small moment for some and then christmas with giving after. For me, it sparks me to realize how blessed I am each year and makes me want to give just that much more. We live in such an entitled world and it honestly makes me so sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine doing or saying some of the thing I hear kids do and say. I know I sound like an old lady saying that and donating hair isn't a huge deal and I'm certainly not trying to make it one. But I do think every little bit you do for someone else shows your character and hopefully a good one. No time like the present to be a good example for Henry and to be a better person myself. I want to show him that things like holding doors, letting someone else go first, helping pick up something for someone else, being kind and courteous, saying "thank you momma". Those things are small but they matter and they may make someone else's day so much brighter.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about"
and be thankful enough to give. My holiday motto's this year.
