Birth Plans

Oh the birth plan.....

This is such a touchy subject so I will try not to offend but instead just give my view and talk about what Taylor and I would like to happen....emphasis on the would like part.

Working in the NICU my job consists only of birth plans that have been broken. Noone PLANS for their baby to come early, noone PLANS for their baby to come out sick, noone PLANS for their baby to be immediately wisked away from them the second it is born. But what does happen sometimes is that a problem is detected when momma is pregnant and NICU is notified ahead of time and the plan soon becomes to get the baby out as safely as possible and do whatever it takes to keep the nugget alive and as healthy as possible. So we have plans, we plan which room the baby will go to, what nurse will admit the baby, what nurse practioner or neonatologist will be at the delivery, if we will need a respiratory therapist and respiratory support equipment, the type of bed baby will go into and if we need special things at mom or baby's bedside to help support it. That becomes our plan. We plan for the worst and hope for the best, but the PLAN is to keep everyone safe.

I learned very quickly working there that when women have birth plans, especially elaborate ones, and they are broken or things don't happen the exact way they planned, there is a huge amount of devastation and crushing blow that comes over the mom. Sometimes they will say "Wait, this isn't what we planned, this isn't how I wanted this to go!!" Well, I think of all the things to put on a birth plan, the most important should be "KEEP ME AND MY BABY ALIVE". (And usually that is written on there somewhere.) Because honestly sometimes it takes 20 people to complete that one task alone and it's sometimes very very hard to do. I know that is ultimately the goal of every pregnant momma but sometimes it is overshadowed by the fact that they had to get an IV in the end, or they had to have an emergency C-section, or they had to have NICU come and take baby for a few hours to watch it more closely to make sure baby is truly ok. If those things are not a part of the plan they become the focus, that it didn't go the way they wanted. It often gets overlooked that in the end both parties are alive. It seems priorities get scewed.

The bottom line of the entire topic is this..... GOD CONTROLS WHAT HAPPENS, not us.
We can pray and hope and wish for an easy, quick, manageable amount of pain, natural delivery with no complications at all and a perfectly healthy screaming, kicking, pink baby, DUH we all want that. BUT it's not ours to control. The two things you can't plan in life are birth and death, ironic really.

The doctors and nurses do everything in their power to make things go as smoothly as possible and we like to help make your wishes come true but there is a valid well researched rationale for every single thing we do in the Labor & Delivery and NICU world. We don't just say "eh, it's 2am, this is taking too long, I'm bored let's do a massive abdominal surgery and knock the mom out completely and make sure dad isn't in the room just so we can sit and chart and eat a cookie and not have to work the rest of our shift." It's more like "well this baby isn't tolerating labor at all, it's heartrate is crashing we have to get the baby out NOW or it will die." There is no time to get dad changed into scrubs to be in the OR too and sometimes it's really graphic (lots of dad's pass out when it's controlled and calm and scheduled let alone scary and fast). There also isn't time to put an epidural in, hence getting knocked out. I have literally seen a baby be born by C-section 5 minutes from the time they decide the baby (or mom) is in trouble, several times actually. That's pretty damn quick to move the mom into the OR, get her put under general anesthesia and cut a baby out. It's scary as shit when that happens but it happens so we can KEEP MOM AND BABY ALIVE! And it works. You don't realize how many moms or babies would die if we didn't do a c-section and when that scary moment happens and you don't have an IV because it wasn't part of your plan, you don't get drugs in time to start getting the baby out ASAP and we can't cut you open while you are awake and have no fluid or anesthesia on board. They put IVs in at the door as a precaution for the worst, not be annoying and poke you with something sharp. Sometimes it takes a while to find a vein and get it in and we can't risk waiting to save your baby while we try to get an IV in. We are nurses not magicians. They also make you NPO (nothing by mouth) when you come in because alot of women puke during labor either from pain, medications etc so it reduces that (who wants to puke when you have all that going on too). It also helps make sure your stomach is empty if you have to have a c-section, if your belly is full you can imagine what can happen when you get sick laying on your back in an OR with an open surgery in progress, you don't need to be choking when you are trying to have a baby cut out of you. No thanks. But see, reasons for it all, not attempts to be cruel. I guess I get a little defensive at some of the rude comments made to the L&D nurses (and even NICU nurses) from patients about their plans. Our job is to save and maintain life. The End.

Now onto some of the funny things we hear in our world. I can't even tell you all the things that come into the hospital on a birth plan. Some are literally 8-10 PAGES long with demanding requests that can't happen. Alot of time it is laughable the requests we get, some are just wild or impossible! Here are some of the funny things I've heard on plans. I put a few of them with my rational why it's kinda nuts in red.

No continuous fetal monitoring. 20 minutes on , 20 minutes off is fine.- 20 minutes is plenty of time for your kid to crash out, why have monitoring at all, it's a pain in the butt to put it on and take it off and we do it because it's important to make sure your baby is tolerating labor ok not to torture you. And who wants to be messed with every 20 minutes, just relax with the band on your belly and have the reassurance we can see if something bad starts to happen the second it happens.
No loud noises or push coaching- if you are first time mom, you may not know when to push or how often and loud noises will happen, it's a hospital not a church. The mom next door might like screaming through her contractions.
I would prefer not to spend any time lying flat on my back, including during pushing stage-  cool go for it, we will see how you feel when you've been in unmedicated labor for 48 hours and if your baby tolerates your choice of position, sometimes babies say "uh no thanks, I don't like your right side mom."
I’d like to push in a sitting squat or whatever position I find comfortable.- If you can hold yourself up after laboring to squat go for it but your doctor can't see anything that is going on if you are like that, so what's the point of having a doctor or nurse.
No episiotomy-  as one of my favorite doctor's says "If your kid gets stuck, you get cut", she gets them out, the end. Your body doesn't always tear if your baby gets stuck.
During the pushing stage, I would appreciate warm moist compresses and perineal massage to reduce risk of tearing.- I don't know if many nurses would do this for you, they have alot of other tasks to do, maybe a husband or doula?
No pulling on baby’s head. I would like to push her out myself. baby's sometimes need help, hence the doctors and nurses
We will provide blankets and will dry the baby ourselves- again, go for it, just a funny thing to worry about.
Noone will talk to me but my one nurse and my husband- that will not happen. Other nurses will answer your call light when your nurse is busy with her other patient, other nurses will help your nurse deliver you, there will be a nurse for your baby, your doctor will be there and usually an OB tech to hand him sterile equipment to keep you free of infection, they will all be talking to you and each other. They work as a team and have to communicate.
I will not have a c-section, IV, drugs for any reason including high blood pressure etc- well you might, end of story, if you signed consent for treatment in a hospital, it can happen.
No vital signs, blood pressures, or vaginal exams- not happening, this is what we do to keep you safe, if you don't like it stay at home.
We want our birthing pool set up in the room since there are no bath tubs in L&D- this is a hospital not a resort, we don't have space for a pool in the room and we don't do water births in our hospital.


Then we will talk about the large birth plan curse, most... MOST moms, not all, but most moms, with a large complicated crazy birth plan end up having it go nothing like they plan sometimes with an emergency c-section and a 2 week ticket to the NICU for their baby. I don't know why it happens but we talk about the birth plan curse. It's weird and sad, the last thing we want is someone to have an experience that is less than ideal for them but it's just creepy that it happens that way. Also alot of moms write something very elaborate, get into labor and decide they can't continue without an epidural etc. I found this funny meme about that.

So without further ado, this is our birth plan: and I am dead serious I am really doing this.
(a note attached to a freshly baked plate of cookies)

Lauren and Taylor's Birth Plan

1) Give me an IV and put through it whatever fluids and drugs you need to, to keep us healthy.

2) I want an epidural, they created it for a reason and I am not about testing my pain level, I won't get a medal in the end anyway so lets make this enjoyable for everyone.

3) I'd prefer not to have a C-section but do anything and everything you have to do to GET MY KID OUT ALIVE AND SAFE!!

4) Enjoy your cookies and have a great shift and thank you for what you do! , Love the Smith's

Now I will add that I want an attending (a real OB/GYN) delivering the baby, not a resident or student. I do not want a vaccum or forcep delivery but whatever has to happen, happens. and I don't want my family in there. That's it.

Birth plans are all a matter of opinion and there are a million variations and none are perfectly correct but try to educate yourself from a valuable source like a medical journal (not pinterest, blogs or facebook) before you start making ridiculous requests that are not possible or safe. Especially if you are a first time mom, if you are a seasoned pro, it's alot different. But still, you would never walk into a cancer center loaded with google information and tell the doctor how to treat your cancer to save your life,  so why walk in to L&D like you own the place and demand that you know what's best in every situation regarding labor and delivery? Just focus on what is important, keeping mom and baby alive and understand that the people trying to help you have a baby do this for a living and are doing just that... helping you have a baby.


STEPS OFF SOAPBOX, thank you and goodnight.

Prepping the Daddy

Well friends this post is about prepping the daddy. Which I sometimes find hilarious!

There are men who are fantastic "fathers" before they ever have kids, they have a natural interest in kids, there is a natural instinct or more maternal side to some men and there is a common sense factor that all play into it. Not to mention self education or exposure to newborns/ kids. Where there is a will, there is a way. If they have the interest and want to be around or learn about newborns, some guys just make it happen. Then some guys have literally never seen a newborn closer up than the little nugget strapped in the carseat in the front of the target cart 5 feet away from them. There are some that have 10 nieces and nephews and are seasoned pros before they ever have their own kids. Some guys like holding babies, others act like the little germ factories have the worst case of ebola there has even been and won't touch one with a 30 feet pole. I find it sooo incredibly interesting to feel out the new daddies in our unit at work for their comfort level. Some dads jump in immediately and want to help change the diaper the first time they meet their kid (remember in my world, the baby gets wisked away for about an hour or so before dad can usually come visit for the first time). Some literally stand in the doorway of their kids room and don't come a step further for the entire first day. (Now I am talking about full term kids here, not the super tiny sick ones, I get that).

When I have first time parents come in I make sure to try to calm fears first, especially dads (who usually come in alone first before mom is stable enough to come over). Then I try to get them excited about their tiny human. It's an awesome thing to have a baby and I want them to be pumped to meet their kid and empowered to take care of it because it can be so terrifying. I will admit that while I have the newborn stage aced, when my kid hits 3 months old I will be S.O.L. and that annoying first time panicky mom that calls the pediatrician all the freaking time asking what the hell I do to keep my kid alive. It kinda scares me that there is no test for competency with this whole parent thing, do I really have what it takes to keep a human alive and better yet make it into a decent member of society instead of an indoor homeless person that acts like a dirty rabid monkey living in my house instead of a decent child? How the hell do they know when they send it home with me that I can handle this?  Yikes, I'm scaring myself, I digress. But as a first time "parent" or soon to be parent, I am already feeling these anxieties. So imagine a new daddy....

They already feel out of the loop because they aren't the one that was raised to do this parent stuff. They usually aren't the one playing with baby dolls and changing their clothes and diapers and feeding them fake bottles and rocking them when they are 5 years old, they're playing in mud and climbing fences and jumping off the top of the fridge (I was doing both I think but whatevs). Little boys don't get the same extreme exposure to the new baby practice thing like little girls do. Women are born and raised to procreate, we babysit when we are teenagers, we like holding babies and we go to baby showers and have friends that we share WAAAY too much information with about their pregnancy, child birth and motherhood experiences. Dudes talk about who's the starting quarterback for the opposing team that week, not how breastfeeding is going and if their kid had a fever after it's 2 month immunizations. It's just different. But back to my point.....

Dads need some prep. Some guys it includes, "here is your new babe, it eats every 2-3 hours (if momma is breastfeeding you are off the hook and just get to be "supportive") but.... it needs a full belly and a warm bed and some love and you've already got the basics. "When I tell new dads that they kind of relax, seems simple enough. They like full bellys, they dig the warm bed thing and a great nap and love, well, who doesn't like that. They think, "Yep, I can do the nap and full belly thing, sounds great, throw boobs in the mix and I'm golden." They have alot of the same basic needs and interests as a newborn but they still need prep. Because even though we are having a man-child, he is still a child and his interests besides boobs will not include the NFL for the first little bit, it will include some other things too.

The prep for us has included alot of interesting conversations. Some serious, some hilarious and ridiculous. The topics include everything, pregnancy, breastfeeding, hospitalization, labor and delivery, full term nursery, first days at home, how to get our house (and dog) ready etc etc. Taylor has so many awesome questions for me. The things he thinks to ask me about are really amazing to me sometimes. Now the dude has had several years of me being a NICU nurse telling him about different experiences and funny, crazy, devastating or happy stories so he kind of knows how things work on my side but healthy baby side is a foreign experience to both of us really. I have inadvertantly made us both paranoid about the health of our baby because we both know all the things that go wrong that equal a NICU admission. So we have spent ALOT of time talking about how healthy baby deliveries go, healthy momma situations, healthy full term nursery stays, healthy baby feeding, healthy course of newborn stages for babies. We both need to brush up on the fact that what I see and tell him about is NOT the norm, for every NICU baby born there are several that come out healthy and fine. I have to keep reminding myself of that and reminding Taylor. I think it's good to prepare yourself for the good AND bad things that can happen in labor and delivery and with the baby but the emphasis on the good stuff is never a bad thing. I think you just have to hope for the best but be mildly prepared for the worst too.

I have literally been to hundreds of deliveries, I love to go to them, I love the adrenaline rush and to see the parents faces when their nugget enters the world and I love to get to say "Happy Birthday Baby!!" But I have never been in labor, I have never had to deliver a kid myself and I have never been the patient over there. I come in at the last minute when momma is pushing or C-section is starting and do the baby but I don't do the mommas and that's the part I need to know. So we are taking a childbirth class. It's two saturdays in January from 8-12. I'm sure alot of the info for me will be a repeat of things I know already but the labor part will all be new and I hope I can learn alot to help me be chill during the whole process. The last thing I want to be is the panicky crazy psycho patient in front of my co-workers. Knowledge is power my friends.

We also wanted Taylor to get to tour labor and delivery and mother/baby so he can see where we will be and how things will go down on D-day. I'm actually really excited to do the classes and show him a little more of "my world" and have him be able to help me during the process instead of me having to teach him about everything that goes on during the fact.

We are having alot of fun with baby things and momma things that we both will need. I have explained to Taylor the difference in a bouncy seat and a swing. That we will have the nugget in a basinette in our room for the first few weeks and that yes we need the basinette AND the crib. I've discussed the importance for a chair in baby's room to rock him and feed him in. I've talked about the difference in a onesie and a sleeper and that yes we need both. Just all these things. He is so excited for his son to be here that he instigates alot of these conversations and I am so grateful. He is going to be such a good dad, he cares, he is interested, he loves his baby and he loves me and his only desire in life is to take care of both of us. This whole new parent thing looks pretty damn good on him already and it makes me love him so much more than I already did.

25 weeks

I'll add pictures as soon as I get them loaded, I've been crazy busy sorry for the delay. And Christmas cards will be coming soon, They are addressed, just need to be stuffed and sent :)


This week was crazy busy. I worked about 60 hours this week between KU, my second job as a health screener and picking up hours to orient to the NICU Medical Home (the pediatric clinic that follows our NICU grads through 5 years old). I love being busy and I love big paychecks even more. With munchkin's crib, Christmas, needing new tires on my truck and a few other odds and ends things coming up a big paycheck is definitely needed right now. I feel lazy when I just work 3 days/ week even though it adds up to 36-38 hours each week. I just love that my job gives me 4 days to pick up something on the side to help our family. I am so blessed in that way. I figure I only have a few months left to work whenever I want and then I will have the peanut at home with me during the day and will need childcare for him (that we won't normally have on a regular basis due to my night shift schedule). Taylor has also been working a ton of overtime to help out and in return got himself a really bad cold. Poor guy!

Other than that we went to my parent's house one night and my mom and I made munchkin one of his blankets that I showed you the fabric of. It's the dinosaur fabric on one side and red minky on the other. It's sooooo soft and nice and thick and heavy. I love it and am even more excited to do the puppy dog blankie and quilt for him.

Today I also made his closet dividers. I just took cheap wooden door hangers from Hob Lob and painted them navy, dusty blue and sage green (to match his bedding/room) and then glued a cute wooden animal to the front and labeled them with NB, 0-3mo, 3-6mo etc all the way through 18 months so I can hang them on his closet rod and hang the clothing organized by sizes for him in between. I can't wait to get shopping some more for him but might wait until after my showers to decide exactly what I will need.

Get your paint

Get your wooden door hangers

 

paint door hangers

These little wooden animals came from hobby lobby already done like this for $0.67 ea

finished product, super easy but if you want me to make them for you, let me know. My etsy shop is technically closed but I put these on there to see if I get any bites, I will be happy to switch colors, designs, animals etc for boys or girls or to match your room theme. Just let me know!

Ta da!

We FINALLY finished the first coat of paint on the baby's room and decided it was too shiny (we got semi-gloss on accident) and so we got a more matte finish to do the second coat and we were going to do it last night but since Taylor is sick it will have to wait, I just want it to be DONE so I can start moving furniture in there where it goes and deciding what I want on the walls. I've started collecting awesome peices to put in there and some things for me to do DIY. I want to go to the west bottoms and find some awesome vintage things to add to it. Taylor will need to go with me so that we can pick things together. He is the car guy and knows what is "cool" and what isn't as far as that stuff goes. I want some kind of awesome containers for his changing table (to put diaper ointment, diapers, wipes etc in) and one for the floor for books or maybe a great set of shelves or something. I'm not sure yet but I will know it when I see it. I've also picked out some great black and white vintage prints of old cars and airplanes to hang in his room but I am looking for some awesome huge white frames for them to go in before I order them.

I think my mom, my sister, my grandma and I will do his bedding when Erika comes home from college next week and then we will get the crib picked up and set up. I think things will start to fall into place then. I hate unfinished projects so it's kind of driving me NUTS to have it undone. One of my friends (who is due a month before me) has her nursery done and I am obsessed with it and want mine to be done too. But oh well, it will happen with time. I just love that I will get to sit in there and fold onesies and pair tiny socks and organize a drawer with "baby things" for him and put away diapers. It just is starting to feel so real to me.

This happened this week ^^^ If you know anything about zippers the bottom is supposed to stay shut, I think my belly is officially too big for my fleece....sigh

And now for a little christmas decor pics.

 My stockings are hung by the chimney with care now though.

Swedish santas! LOVE

Sorry it's blurry but I feel like I am carrying this kid in my crotch, look how low he is!

Chalkboard time!!!

Can you tell how lazy and tired I was this week....Nice chalkboard eh? I almost made Taylor stick out his belly, write 25 on the board and take a pic, but I didn't.

How far along? 25 weeks, baby is the size of a head of cauliflower. He is about 1 feet 2 inches long and weighs about 1.5lbs. (I'm gonna go ahead and guess he is bigger but that's just me) We will find out at his 28 week scan December 31st. I am DYING to know how big he is.

Total weight gain: Lost and gained my  2 lbs this week back and forth, I am between -4 and -6 lbs again from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Maternity clothes? Of course. Some of my maternity shirts are already getting short and I am kinda sick of wearing nice long sleeve T-shirts, I want more cute blousy wintery tops and sweaters. Might have to use some Christmas money for that so I don't feel so scrubby all the time. I hate spending money on maternity clothing, but I have tried to buy things I can wear when I'm not pregnant as well and I just want to feel good about my bump and my body.

Sleep: It depends on the day. Still pretty decent most of the time.

Best moment this week: Making the blanket for my sweet baby with my momma, working on his room and christmas shopping.

Miss Anything? Having energy, having a conversation without getting out of breath, sleeping on my stomach.

Movement: He is getting strong! I can watch him kick all the time now which is so fun and I am starting to be able to tell which way he is facing based on his movements and kicks. I can also tell when he kicks me vs. just moves around a little or does a complete summersault. It's sooo cool! I love it!
Food cravings: Peppermint Mochas (decaf), Raspberry chicken (one of my DELISH recipes, sounds weird but it's amazing!)

Anything making you queasy or sick: Gagged a few times this week, random. But didn't get sick.

Gender: A boy elf

Symptoms: occasional back pain, tossing and turning when I sleep, swelling ankles and feet after at 12 hour shift.

Belly Button in or out? It's still in but it's getting pretty flat.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: Much better this week. I worked 60 hours though so I didn't have alot of time to do anything but sleep and work. Which is fine by me, we need the money and I like to stay busy. I did however have fun with christmas decor this week.

Looking forward to: Payday! So I can finish my Christmas shopping for everyone. ( I have ideas for everyone just don't have them purchased and in my house yet). Working a little less this week and my sister to come home so we can do Christmasy traditions. I'm making good headway on my Christmas bucket list this year :)

Bucket list update

Remember my Christmas Bucket list? Well here is the update of how I am doing so far. The things marked in red I have done.

25. Play with Cora in the snow. Find her a ridiculous outfit, maybe reindeer antlers or a  funny sweater.

24. Go cut down and buy a real Christmas tree & stash vases of fresh trimmings all around the house and make our annual tree trunk ornament.

23. Send Christmas cards & find a way to display all the ones we receive.

22. Buy a new red nailpolish. Maybe with glitter in it.

21. Hang a string of colored lights around my baby bump chalkboard.

 

20. Hang Christmas lights up outside with Taylor. Or...watch Taylor do it. lol we kind of did this, we decided to just do lit trees on our porch this year.

19. Decorate my house for Christmas

18. Brave the crowds for black Friday shopping (on FRIDAY)

17. Do at least 5 of my DIY Christmas decor projects I've had on pinned on pinterest for the last year or so.

 

16. Listen to Christmas music..... ALL. THE. TIME.

15. Pay for someone's coffee in line behind me in a coffee shop or drive through.

14. Find marty moose mugs like Christmas vacation.

13. Order the "Merry Christmas ya filthy animal" onesie I saw on pinterest.

12. Buy a few festive cozy winter socks

11. Make treats and cookies for neighbors, co-workers & friends with my mom and sister.

10. Drink hot chocolate & drive around looking at Christmas lights while blaring Christmas music.

9. Play Secret Santa at work.

8. Go to either the thanksgiving plaza lighting or the crown center mayor's tree lighting.

 

7. Make a gingerbread house with my sister.

6. Start a Christmas children's book collection for the babe.

 

5. Go Christmas shopping at crown center & enjoy the hustle & bustle!

4. Make a festive breakfast for Taylor in bed.

3. Hang & stuff stockings.

2. Watch Home Alone & Home Alone 2 back to back. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.

1. Find new Christmas pajamas for me and the nugget! and Taylor too.


12 things out of 25 is not too bad considering I have a few more weeks to get things checked off and that some of the things have to be closer to Christmas to do.

 

the last part of 24 weeks

The rest of this week was uneventful, thank God. Just worked and worked on Christmas shopping, I have almost everyone's gift thought out just have to go get them and wrap them.

My 24 week doctor appt was on wednesday and my doctor said everything looks perfect. Baby's heart was 145 and sounded great. The only bummer was that she is making me do my glucose test before christmas:( I'm so bummed. She originally told me sometime between 24 and 28 weeks (28 weeks is the week after christmas) IF I end up having gestational diabetes that means I can't enjoy the holiday food boooooooo. I am pregnant, I should be able to live it up this year. So I have to schedule that at some point this week. I have heard the drink makes you feel aweful so I am dreading that. Say some prayers please!!

I also made and addressed our Christmas cards. They are ADORABLE if I do say so myself. I will give you a sneak pic of the pictures we used for them.

From the Plaza lighting this year.

Yes I wrapped the dog in christmas lights (although I used the wrong version of this pic and used the original before I edited it and now it's so dark you can bearly see her on the card, I am soo sad!)

Chalkboard Time!!

How far along? 24 weeks, baby is the size of a Cantaloupe.

Total weight gain: Gained 2 lbs this week (pretty good with thanksgiving), I am at -4bs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Maternity clothes? yes, went to Old Navy for their 50% off everything in the store sale and got ma-self some short sleeve T-shirts on the cheap to wear under scrub jackets and got some long sleeve scrub jackets but just need a few short sleeve ones too.

Sleep: Sleeping ok this week, just tossing and turning a little more because my hips are a little sore from laying on my sides only. This morning I was awake from 6am on and tried to go back to sleep because I was tired but my arms and hands kept falling asleep from laying on them I guess? Weird, might ask the doc about that one.

Best moment this week: Getting our christmas tree and decorating for Christmas.

Miss Anything? Having energy, having a conversation without getting out of breath, sleeping on my stomach.

Movement: Lots, he moves all the time now.
Food cravings: Thanksgiving FEAST!!! Peppermint mochas

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, still doin great with the sickness thing.

Gender: a Boy turkey

Symptoms: Just feelin big (I know you are laughing, thinking you have soooo much more to go) Thank you, I am aware but I still have a big belly that I am not used to and although I am still down from my pre-pregnancy weight there is still a large amount of weight sticking off the front of me that is heavy and unusual and gets uncomfortable when I am standing or walking around all day.

Belly Button in or out? in but getting much much more shallow now.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody! GRRR love love love the holidays, but the shopping and the crazy people are not fun. Plus my crib disaster at nebraska furniture mart and my issues with motherhood maternity etc etc. I just feel huge and gross. I was a grouch this week. Poor Taylor.

Looking forward to: Working on the nursery some more, making munchkin's crib bedding and getting all my christmas shopping done.

24 weeks....so far.....

This week started with a VERY frustrating day. I had great intentions to get up early, head out to Nebraska furniture mart and simply AND QUICKLY order the crib Taylor and I had picked out the last trip we were out there the previous week. We would have ordered it then but I was hoping it would go on sale for black friday. No such luck. Then I needed to go to Old Navy (the entire store was 40% off and I needed maternity khaki's for my second job (it's the dress code) and to find some more t-shirts to wear with scrubs and under scrub jackets since my belly is really too big to fit in my normal scrub tops anymore. Good intentions....keep that in mind. So my mom and sister offered to go with me and then we were gonna come back to my house and decorate for Christmas. Well the day quickly went to crap. Here is the original crib.

 Except it was such a dark brown it was almost black (which would clash with Navy blue walls), I found it online in a lighter brown that would go perfect against his navy blue wall and off we went to order it.... WRONG. Apparently the brown color is "discontinued" and you can only order it if you order the $650 armoir too. Well, I don't need/ can't afford the armoir so that wasn't going to work for me. I was so frustrated and didn't see anything else there that I liked. Plus I didn't have Taylor with me to help me choose another crib. We liked the sturdyness of the first one and the flat more masculine top of the first one. This was the only one that was that heavy and sturdy with a flat top so I had to start over. I sat in a glider in the corner and was so frustrated that I went all the way out there to get it and couldn't order it that I just cried, thanks pregnancy hormones...emmmmmbarrassing. So I called Taylor at work and told him I was going to send him pictures of other cribs and to just pick one so I could leave, I was starting to get hungry and sick of standing around and my sister and mom wanted to leave so after much debate and trying to figure out which cribs came in a regular brown color we finally picked this one.

Still sturdy, just not a flat top but not super girly either. So I went to find my sales guy again (he SOOOO deserved the commission for dealing with my crazy hormonal pregnant ass) but of course, he was helping a family with 4 small kids order a bunk bed set. I waited around for him for about 20 minutes and had another sales guy go and tell him I was ready just in case they wanted to look around a little while I purchased, but they were ready to buy too and he was doing their sale. I waited another 15 minutes and finally found another guy to do my order with. He said he couldn't find the crib in that color to even order (even though I was holding the picture and order pamplet shown above in my hand). I was soooo mad and he basically turned me away and said he couldn't help me. Now my 20 minute trip was 2 hours in and my sister was PISSED that she was still sitting there waiting for me. So I found another sales woman, told her what happened and she was livid the guy didn't help me. She ordered it in 15 minutes and I left with a splitting headache, empty stomach, sticker shock from the price, bad attitude, tears in my eyes, a pissed off sister and a partridge in a fricken pear tree... deep breath.....
THEN we went to Old Navy ( I wouldn't have gone based on my mood alone, I'm smart enough not to add insult to injury, but they are the only Old Navy in the city that carries maternity in store and I was already right there) but you guessed it. No khaki pants AT ALL, not much selection of anything else maternity and long lines = me teary again, because I was already in a bad mood and basically S.O.L for my work event this week if I didn't find khaki's. (I did find a few T-shirts). So I walked across the way to motherhood maternity and my mom was already inside with a few pairs of khakis in hand off the sale rack. Now Motherhood Maternity had a few pairs but sizes their pants in XS to XL instead of normal pre-pregnancy pant sizes like 0-16 or whatever. I grabbed a large and it looked TINY so I grabbed the XL (the biggest they carry) and went to try them on. I couldn't even get the XL up they were so tight, so I tried another style that looked a little bigger, Nope, not a chance. WHAT THE HELL!?!?! How can a maternity store carry things that don't even come big enough to fit me, I am not a massive person here but I am pregnant, if anything the size I wear should be labeled XS just to make me feel better about already feeling HUGE. What kind of sick and twisted joke are they pulling in there. Talk about a blow to my self image at a horrible time in life to take such a hit. What the hell do people do that are bigger than me that are pregnant? Go naked? Seems logical, whatever, so yes I cried in the dressing room, threw the khakis on the bench in a huff of hormones and ran out of there. GRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What a disaster or as my mom called it a "cribtastrophe". Perfectly put mother. But she cheered me up a little and helped me put Christmas music on when we got to my house and got my sister entertained with her Christmas craft and we got to work decorating. Her never ending optimism pissed me off earlier in the day but I needed her steady calm and cheeriness. Thanks Momma I love you, you little cheery elf you. Now moving on to happier items. Go ahead and laugh at the story above BTW, I can't yet, smoke comes out of my ears still just thinking about it, but someday I will laugh about it.

We got up early sunday morning and went to get a peppermint mocha and then Clark said to Ellen Taylor said to me " We're kicking off our fun old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols." Basically we went to get our Christmas tree!! Yay! Taylor beleives it's sacreligious to have a fake tree (which is what I grew up with) so for all 3 years we have lived together we have gone and cut our own tree and my hot husband lugged it to the car lumberjack style with his ax  saw in one hand and tree in the other and strapped that sucker down and we drove it home and put it up. :) It's actually been a really fun tradition for us and I can not wait to take the nugget next year! Ahh the pictures, I can imagine it now!  Moose sweater, baby jeans, red plaid lumberjack hat, big rosy cheeks, gummy drooly smile, fun for one and all,  probably more like screaming, teething, hungry, anti-photo taking child.....oh the memories we will make. Whatevs, anyway....

 

Pregnant shadow selfie with my peppermint mocha shadow too.

 

Searching for the perfect tree.

 

We think we found it!

 

Feeling manly cutting it down himself.

 

 I told him to smile.....rule breaker.

There she is.

 

 

 Hauling that puppy in

 

 

 

 look how cute this face is. She was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

 

Baby girl's first christmas, She couldn't figure out why there was a freakin tree in the house.

Adding the star on top!

FINISHED!!!!

Here is my mom's and my handy work with the Christmas decor that we did on Saturday, not too shabby for the rare form of fire-breathing pissed off pregnant dragon I was that day.

 My buffet in my dining room.

 The bannister

The bathroom downstairs.

More bathroom, with the reindeer picture I made off pinterest last year.

 Fireplace, I still have stockings to hang.

 

My centerpeice on my island.

MORE TO COME AT THE END OF THE WEEK INCLUDING CHALKBOARD AND STATS.