FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions

Since I posted the link to the blog on my facebook and instagram we have gone from 40 hits to 8000 hits in a matter of several weeks. I know alot of people are secretly reading along, which is great (no worries, I am a secret blog stalker too) and alot of people have told me personally they follow my blog and love to hear updates. My neighbors, coworkers, family members, friends, college aquaintences etc. read and have told me so. Which is so fun! But honestly, you would not believe how many random responses, emails, texts and so on that I have recieved from some of you readers thanking me for sharing our story and sharing your own with me. I love hearing from you all and hearing what you have to say! I also get TONS of questions about our story and pregnancy and infertility. It's amazing to me how many people are dealing with the same things we did or are starting to worry they are going to walk the same path or know someone that is. The entire point of the blog (like I have said before) was to update our friends/family on our pregnancy and little man but Taylor and I both firmly beleive there is a reason we went through what we did to get this baby and keeping our story a secret isn't something we personally feel makes sense to us. If we help someone else, it's worth going through it and then sharing it. I understand it's a very private thing for most people and I also understand that too. We didn't tell many people at all what we were going through at the time because it is awkward and weird to talk about and because we found out very very quickly that so many people have opinions they aren't afraid to share with you about what you are doing. There are people who beleive it is going against God to get help getting pregnant and had no issue telling me so. I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut if I didn't want to hear negativity. But, I also think there are many people too afraid of those negative responses to tell anyone so they don't get to ask questions (I sure didn't). So with that, I will share some of the FAQs I have gotten along the way and my answers. Please feel free to ask more and I will do my best to answer them.

1) How long did you and Taylor try to get pregnant before knowing something was wrong?

We technically tried for 8 months off birth control pills before we could get help, but I wasn't having regular cycles (which you pretty much have to have to get pregnant) so I knew something was wrong the entire time. I had also suspected from the time I was in high school that I would have trouble getting pregnant because I never had regular cycles even then and had to be put on birth control at 17 to help with that.

2) How long did you wait to get professional help? When should I get professional help if I think there is a problem?

I firmly beleive it is never too early to be open and honest with your doctor and ask TONS of questions. Because I had suspicions that we would have trouble, we made an appt before we even stopped taking the pill (a family planning appt if you will). I went in armed with thousands of questions and basically walked out with a list of the things I shouldn't do in early pregnancy in case it happened quickly and a good luck pat on the shoulder from my doctor. But I got a lot of my questions answered about what to expect and how it all works. You don't just go home and stop taking the pill and the next day wind up "with child". I wish it were that easy but there is a thing called timing and it has to be pretty perfect or you just have to be lucky. Either way I felt a little more "in the know" with what to do and expect and think about everything. I started charting my symptoms and cycles and trying to pay attention to my body at that time. Talk to your doctor! They can help.

Now in addition to that, we waited 3 months after stopping the pill to go back to the doctor and find out what was wrong because I hadn't had a period in that long and that isn't healthy. 90 days isn't good for your system and if you go longer than that your doctor needs to know. She gave me a pill to make me start my period and told me to come back if it didn't start to get regular after that. Well it started after the pill, but I again went another 164 days without a period before I could get in to see her again (she was booked solid) and basically she told us that my body just doesn't want to use the hormones properly to do the right thing and started investigating why at that point. That was in October of 2012.

3) What happened in your inital exams to figure out what was wrong? Where do they start with a "work up" for infertility?

When we went back to the doctor in October I wasn't expecting them to label me as "infertile" already, I really struggled with that term and the idea of it. Emotionally I already felt defeated and that is the LAST thing you want when you have a long road of tests and trying to go. But we started with very comprehensive blood work. Looked at all of my hormone levels and blood levels, electrolytes, thyroid etc. I had a pap smear and cervical exam. I also had an ultrasound to look inside and see what was going on. They ordered a semen analysis for poor Taylor to make sure he didn't have issues at the same time and try to kill two birds with one stone.

4) What did they diagnose you with? How did they know?

My bloodwork came back pretty much inconclusive which was frustrating. The only thing worse than not being able to get pregnant when you want to, is not knowing why you can't. We were fortunate however to discover that during my ultrasound they saw multiple follicles (the little sacs of fluid that sometimes hold an egg). This is a bad sign, you should only see 1 or 2 during the right time of your cycle as your body prepares to ovulate 1 egg at a time (2 if you get twins). I had 15-20 tiny ones that were immature and none of them were really doing anything but clogging up my ovaries and causing pain. They diagnosed me at that point with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome but that's a whole different hour long conversation to explain. (though, I gladly will if you message me)

4) What were the first steps they had you take to do something about your infertility?

My doctor sent me home that day with another round of the perscription to make me have a period (Provera) and a perscription for clomid to start taking during the first few days of my next cycle to make me ovulate. I was to keep track of any and all symptoms on a calender and let my doctor know how things were going in the process. 3 days later she called and said they found something else on the pictures from my ultrasound and wanted me to come back to the office to discuss it. I went back in, terrified, and they told me I had a small membrane dividing my uterus in half and to stop taking the clomid and DO NOT GET PREGNANT until it could be fixed. If I got pregnant, the baby would only have half of my uterus to grow in and would probably miscarry or delivery extremely early if I got pregnant. YIKES! At that point we were referred and started seeing our reproductive endocrinologist (fancy words for infertility doctor) to help us from then on out. 

5) What are some of the hurtful things people said to you about infertility? I know not everyone agrees with it morally and people have really hurt my feelings with some things they have said, is it just me being sensitive?

No, it's not you just being sensitive, it's only partially that :) People can be so mean. and yes, you are right. Everyone has an opinion on everything. I can't tell you how many times people are even trying to be helpful and it hurt my feelings. Yes, you are going to be more sensitive about it because it's something that is an emotionally driven beast that consumes your life at the time. Trying to get pregnant is just as much as emotional thing as it is physical and that goes for people who are not having trouble too. It's a roller coaster. People need to think before they speak is what it boils down to. I had people tell me that I was going against what God wanted for us. That maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother. "Stop trying so hard" " It'll just happen if you quit thinking about it so much." "You are young, why are you freaking out so much." "You're crazy for putting your husband through that" "I would never do anything you are doing just to have a kid, I would take it as a sign that I shouldn't have any and move on." " The drugs will cause cancer and kill you, is it worth it?" (which is not true btw). "Just adopt, there a million kids that need families, you're being so selfish." "now obviously isn't the right time for you", "You are putting your body through hell, stop forcing it" "Just relax and it will happen" " it obviously isn't working, aren't you tired of trying yet" "you are throwing away so much money"........So see, it isn't just you. It sucks to hear what people think when they don't understand or even try to understand where you are coming from. And word to the wise.....I love the power of positive thinking but trust me in 2 years it has yet to make me ovulate just by itself. Sometimes it takes work and help.

5) It's been really hard for me to watch my friends get pregnant and to go to their baby showers when that's all I want is my own baby. I'm so jealous and I feel aweful, did you go through that?

Oh god yes, I regretfully admit that I "called in sick" or made excuses for missing a few baby showers over the two years we were trying because I couldn't stop crying long enough to put on my makeup to leave the house that day. It was incredibly hard for me to watch people getting pregnant (seemingly all the time) because all you notice when you are trying is pregnant people and babies.  I would sit and cry looking at facebook at my friend's beautiful babies and beautiful bellies out of sheer jealousy. Don't get me wrong I was so ecstatic for them all and so excited to meet their littles, I still went to a lot of baby showers, even threw one for a good friend. Went to the hospital to see a few brand new nuggets of friends and did a lot of trips to Baby's R Us for other people during those 2 years too but it's hard. It's really really hard to not have a deep ugly knot in your stomach of jealousy and guilt for feeling it because you want so badly to celebrate their baby and forget about the lack of your own. It's not their fault you can't get pregnant and everyone of those people were incredibly sensitive to me about it too which was great. I had a friend cry telling me because she felt so bad she got pregnant first. Girls dealing with infertility are happy for other women but just very envious unfortunately. I had to tell a few of my friends who are trying to get pregnant that I had actually gotten pregnant myself and I cried telling them because I felt horrible that it was my turn and not theirs. It's just a heartbreaking thing.

6) A few of my friends complain CONSTANTLY about how much it sucks to be pregnant, don't they know how bad I would love to be them? Did you have people like that? How did you handle it? Did you say anything?

Actually while I was early into trying to get pregnant my doctor announced she was pregnant and made a subtle appology for forgetting something because she was so tired from being in her first trimester, she didn't mean to complain but I was soo mad at her that day. How could she complain when she was writing me a referall for an infertility doc in the same appt. I also had a few people in my life that were pregnant while we were trying that complained about EVERYTHING from being tired, to being sick, to having huge boobs or needing to spend money on their nursery. I wanted to KILL them, and they made me cry a few times. People just need to be careful what they say, I know there are things that suck about pregnancy, I puked 20x/day for 17 weeks strait and I did not have fun but I was thankful I had a reason for getting sick and I only cried about it to Taylor twice, afterall I wanted to be in that situation, I needed to take all that came with it. People asked how I felt all the time and I told them I had been sick but that I was thankful for it. I have tried really really hard not to complain about anything with pregnancy, sure I will talk about different things but I try to be sensitive because some people could be listening that are trying and jealous that I have a reason to be tired, sick etc. The people that hurt me the most were the people that knew I couldn't get pregnant month after month that still complained to me about it. I never said anything outside of "I know you don't feel good but just try be positive and thankful you've gotten this opportunity."

7) How did you work with babies the entire time you were trying to get pregnant? Didn't that put salt into your wound?

Yes and no, first of all I would never do anything else but what I do. I love babies, I love littles and I love my job working with them but I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard to care for babies of drug moms or teenagers who got twins after a drunken one night stand. The people who didn't care about or want their babies hurt me the most because I would do anything to be in their shoes and have a baby, NICU baby or not and they didn't even want theirs. But, what I learned was that babies need lovin and my job was to love the hell out of the ones at work until I got the chance to love my own.

8) What treatments did you try?

provera, synthroid, clomid (4 different doses), femara (2 different doses), progesterone supplements (2 different doses), IUI (Intrauterine insemination), Ovidrel hormone trigger shots, cycle monitoring, blood work monitoring and relaxation techniques, I also had surgery on my uterus and had a month of hormone replacement after that too. We were one cycle away from doing IVF (In vitro fertilization) but got pregnant right before then.

9) what finally worked?

The cycle we got pregnant I took the right doseages of synthroid, Provera, femara, progesterone, baby aspirin, ovidrel hormone trigger shot with ultrasounds and lots of bloodwork monitoring and PERFECT TIMING and God's grace.

Sorry if some of that is TMI, but alot of these are big time repeats from alot of people. If you want to more, I'm pretty much an open book, just shoot me a message, I'd love to help.